The Perk of Being a Young Mommy

Assalammualaikum and greetings people!!!!!

Wow, haven't remembered the last time I post on a blog. I can't even remembered when. How life gets so busy these days. (what i mean is months..hihi) I wanted to start blogging again cause I am so over pregnancy. Haha and Alhamdulillah, I've got a son age two months old now and he's so charming that he could be Prince Charming to anonymous girl, lulz. What a mommy. 

The Perks of Being a Young Mommy. Yes, haha well, I dont even know where to start, everything goes so fast and I can't even believe it myself that I'm building a mini family here. I have a husband and a son, two of my heroes in my life, (no worry dad, you'll always be my number 1!) Lot of my friends have been asking me 'How does it feel to be a mom & finally have a baby?" "Are you happy, being married this early?" "Does it hurt? Giving birth?" <<<< This question is the most asked question. Hahaha-- Well, here goes my answer, I'm so proud of myself that i'm willing to take a risk building a family at this very young age cause I don't even want to be hurt and left again by all those guys out there, and InsyaAllah Taufik is 'The One' Allah has descended to me. I'm so over having fun dating. And now that I have a baby, I couldn't be more happier than I am. Muhammad my baby, mommy loves you sayang! Some people may disagree with me being married this early since i'm only 20 now and still a student. How can I balance my study and my family? Well, if mom can, why can't I? Mom raised us five girls so well, and I'm going to do the same, it's just that I don't have five girls, I have only 1 son. Hihi. 

So, the second question, "Are you happy?" Puh-leaseeee, do I look unhappy? Haha I'm more than grateful. I'm marrying my bestfriend that I've known for almost 6 years, why won't I be happy? He knows me well more than other guys did. Because he's my bestfriend. Marrying him is the best thing ever happened. Never thought the guy I've known for the past 6 years in my life could turn out to be my husband and best friend forever!!!!*screaaaaaammmmmmm* Is this for true? Ikr. He may not be the prince charming I've been waiting for, (haha no offense sayang) but he got everything a women need, by meaning, I need. So, I am happy to be married to Muhammad Nur Taufik. 

So, the best part of the question is this, the 'giving birth thingy'. Hahaha what I could say is that, all of the scene about giving birth you saw in the drama and all, IS A LIE. Well, to me it is. It wasn't that hard. First, you gotta feel a little contraction which does hurt a lot but I don't scream at all. Drama lies, exaggerate everything. Lulz! 2 days of contraction and 10 hours of contraction in labour room. (this is the moment where you thought you're going to die and you start to apologizing to everyone, even to the nurses and doctors. haha) After 10 hours contraction hurt, it took only 15 minutes for Muhammad to come out. Right at 10:05pm, I heard him cry and it was the best thing and moment I've ever had. Alhamdulillah Allah has saved the both of us. I won't tell you the part after giving birth, cause I'll let you experience it yourself girls. Hihi so far, everything is turning out to be good for me, thank Allah for making it easy for us. 

And here I am now, back on the track! With a husband and son by my side, I'll start blogging and living my life all over again. This time, I wouldn't have to think about `eye-ing a guy and start dating or you're gonna end up being a spinster'. What a thought! :D

You know who I am. 

That 90s chick. 

SOME THINGS THAT I'VE LEARNED

 

 

Time will keep moving and we will keep living. Time changes everything in our life, as time goes by, lot of events will happened in our life. Some will make us feel happy, some will hurt us, and some event just mean nothing to us. But, thru times I've learned so many things in life just by living. Almost 20 years of living, these are what things that I've really learned;

 

• Try as hard as you can not to judge. Each person is the way they are because of some reason. You don't know what happened in their past that made them that way. Will you feel great if people judge you the way you judge them? You will be sad when you're judged cause nobody knows the reason behind what you are now. So, try not to judge even how bad they are.

 

• It is good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It's easy to get comfortable with your daily routine, but this is the surest way to kill your spirit. Even if you don't feel like doing something, you never know what could happen if you do. So, stand up and get out of the fence you built around your spirit and just take the challenge to do something you never done before.

 

• Be kind. In the end, people will want to be around you if you make them feel good about themselves. Not only that, but it will make you feel good about yourself too. If you be little people, it won't make you feel any good about yourself. It will just ruin your mind and soul because all you do is let the negativity take control of you and pushing the positivity away. 

 

• Keep an open mind. You don't know everything and you're not always right. Take everything in. Try to accept what others are trying to say because sometimes their opinion might be great for your life too.

 

• Keep a journal. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy, journal is a good thing. It's not a girly thing. In our life, there are still things that we can't talk about with other people even with our own best friend because it's just don't seem right to share it when the only person who understand it is just you. Write it in a journal cause you might feel like reading it again in future and just remembering it.

 

• The past and future aren't real. There is only NOW.

 

• Learn to be happy even if you are on your own. Lonely doesn't always have to mean sadness or grief. Be happy.

 

• Spend time outside every day. Go on walks or lay in the grass. It's easy to forget how important nature is, but I think it has a lot to do with happiness. Stop living in the technology for awhile and just go out, breathe the air.

 

• Take a good care of yourself because you only have one body. Don't torture your body. Don't do dieting just to look skinny and pretty because your body need energy too. Be satisfied with your body.

 

• Books are not boring. Reading good books will just make me feel happier and smarter.

 

• Just love. Don't be afraid to fall in love. It might hurt you several times, but love is just another 'try and error' process. I've fallen in love for so many times before and hurt at the same time. And now, I'm married to a man that never failed to make me fall in love again and again every day.

 

• Be curious and cautious at the same time. Everything is fascinating when you take a look at it close enough.

 

and the most important thing is...

 

• You are perfect. The only thing left to work on is realizing it.

Never forget to live,

 

hdyhmzln

Hey birthday girl, smile please

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. 

Finally, after waiting for too long, I'm officially 19 now. And guess what, it wasn't the birthday I've ever dreamed of. I cried almost every time when I'm alone this whole day. I'm missing my mom, I'm missing home, I'm missing my bestfriend, I'm missing my man. I'm sick. Mixed feeling, can't control my emotions. I can break down so easily whenever someone ask me "Why?". Just don't ask, not now. Not when I'm in a fragile moment. Every year, I'll celebrate my birthday with joy, laughter, love and people I care the most around me. But not now. Not today. Not this year. This is the bad birthday I've ever had. I don't even feel like celebrating it. 

I'm hallucinating of being at home right now. And just be happy in my room. Feeling satisfy, feeling like a princess. The more I write, the more tears fall down from my face. I've tried not to cry. But these tears just won't listen. It keeps on falling down. Like a waterfall that will never stop falling. What I need the most right now is not presents. I need a hug. A hug from mom to tell me that everything will be okay and she'll be here with me all along. I need it the most. I need my man to sit next to me and keep on repeating 'I Love You' so it can make my heart feels better. I need my sisters to be around me, so I can laugh at their attempt to make jokes and make me smile. I need my bestfriend to be here with me, to wipe my tears away whenever it falls. 

Ya Allah, for my birthday this year, I won't ask for more, all I want from you is to forgive all my sins and please please please give me the strength to move on for another month and this will all be over InsyaAllah. And please protect the people I care the most from Satan, pain, sins, and anything bad. Please give me strength. Cause I need it. 

Hey birthday girl, happy birthday. Smile. For the sake of yourself and people around you.

Mawar.

JUST STOP.

One incident can change one's whole life. Yes, it is. And in my case, one incident, changes my whole perception. These days, we (women), tend to feel like we're the vulnerable one, the one who keeps on hurting in any kind of matter, the one that will always be the losing player in a game, the one that will never be happy, the one that always am the victim. But here's what we're wrong about it. Men, they do have feelings too. They are. The only difference between us and them is that we tend to show our feelings and emotions, but they're using their ego to hide it. Whenever they feel sad, they hide their tears with ego. Man and their ego, can't be separated just like us, women can't be separated by emotions and feelings. 

I've seen my dad at his worst. 

I've seen my man at his worst. 

Tears running down from their eyes, their precious tears,

in front of me, and I died in that moment. 

I felt like I'm the chosen one. Why? Because I can actually look at them in the eyes when they're crying. And a hug was given by me, Trying to make everything better. But I just can't. The warm of the hug is not enough to solve everything. But it sure can comfort us in that moment. Men feel hurt. They can be so vulnerable at one time either. And it is not our right to judge them by saying, "All men are the same." Yes, "Men will always be men." But what if the men said the same thing to us? "All women are the same." Will we like it? To be compared to other girls? I don't. Absolutely not. Cause I have my own specialty. I'm different. That's how they felt about it too. So, enough with all the men hurt women thingy, men doesn't have feelings and whatsoever. 

Because it is so not true. I've seen two of my favorite man at their worst and I know how does it feels like to see a man got weak and get rid of their ego for just a moment. All of our tears are precious. Even if we're women or men, Both are the same. So, appreciate each other. That's what we should do from now on. 

Mawar. 

KAU PENCURI CAHAYA BULAN

P/S: Credits to #seratusmulut. Puisi yang aku buat untuk Seratus Mulut.

KAU PENCURI CAHAYA BULAN

Dulu aku lihat bulan itu terang,

Namun semakin kau menjauh,

Semakin malap cahayanya--

Mungkin kau pergi membawa cahaya itu bersama,

Kerana sewaktu kau melangkah pergi,

Aku hilang cahaya di kala malamku.

Namun,

Masih aku perhati bulan itu,

Tanpa aku mengerlipkan mataku,

Walau cahayanya semakin pudar.

Kerana bulan itu satu kepastian,

Kepastian buat aku untuk tahu kau masih lagi tersenyum melihat bulan yang sama,

Mungkin bukan aku yang berada di dalam ingatan kau saat itu,

Aku tak kisah---

Wahai sang bulan,

Pergilah kau, pergi bersama dia,

Berikan dia cahaya yang paling terang,

Cahaya yang dapat sentiasa menyinari senyuman manis itu,

Agar setiap kali aku lihat bulan,

Aku dapat lihat wajah dan senyum itu walau dia jauh dan bukan milik aku lagi.

Amatur,

Mawar

KEKHILAFAN MANUSIA

  P/S: Credits to #seratusmulut. Puisi yang aku buat untuk Seratus Mulut.

KEKHILAFAN MANUSIA

Manusia--

Di saat bersedih

Mereka akan pertikaikan di mana Allah pada saat itu

Meninggalkan mereka sendirian terkapai

Dalam dugaaan.

Sedar atau tidak

Allah itu sentiasa ada.

Dugaan yang diberikan

Hanya untuk buat kita lebih ingat dan dekat padaNya.

Janganlah terus berduka

Berdoalah pada Allah,

InsyaAllah, Dia akan membantu hambaNya.

Allah tidak pernah meninggalkan kita sendirian,

Ingatlah----

Allah menulis segalanya,

Suka duka kita,

Allah berikan semua.

Hati itu, jadikan ia milik Allah,

Kerana itu adalah hakikatnya.

La Tahzan!

Amatur,

Mawar.

KITA INI PELENGKAP

P/S: Credits to #seratusmulut. Puisi yang aku buat untuk Seratus Mulut.

KITA INI PELENGKAP 

Perlumbaan dunia tiada penamatnya,

Lelaki, wanita, sibuk dengan hal duniawi,

Terdetik seketika dalam hati aku,

Inikah matlamat sebenar lelaki dan wanita diciptakan ke dunia ini?

Yang lelaki dengan egonya,

Yang perempuan dengan emosinya,

Masing-masing sibuk bersaing

Untunk mencapai sesuatu yang tiada kepastiannya,

Sedangkan mereka dicipta sebagai sebuah pasangan yang saling melengkapi kekurangan,

Dicipta lelaki gagah perkasa

Mencari mana hilang tulang rusuknya--

Datang wanita sebagai pelengkap diri

Menjadi tulang rusuk, peneman abadi.

Jadi mengapa perlu masing-masing cuba tunjuk hebat?

Sedangkan kita saling melengkapi.

Takbur yang kau pegang itu,

Buangkan jauh jauh, campak dalam perigi

Tiada siapa yang lebih hebat.

Lelaki dan wanita saling memerlukan,

Saling melengkapi, sempurnakan diri.

Amatur, 

Mawar. 

THE GIRL.

Once upon a time, (you'll be expecting happy ending now aite?)

There was a girl. An ordinary girl who lives her life with just by herself and friends. She always laugh so hard that can make anyone laugh along. He smile always shine that could irritate all her haters. And she always have this kind of attitude that make people would stand by her all the time. But then, came 2 men in her life. And everything is changing. She doesn't laugh like she used to before. Well, she did, with only one of the guy. Her smile, is fading away. But it always shine to that one guy. She still has the attitude that could make people got attached to her. That is why, she was in miserable now. She's in dilemma. She has to choose. 

Before, she doesn't has to choose anyone to stand by her side. Love came into her life. And she knows she can't have both of the guy with her. But, the stubborn side of her, keep telling her : "Keep both of them. Don't hurt people." And it keeps coming into her mind every night before she could go to sleep. She over-think everything. So, she decided to use her smartness and starts scribbling the pros and cons between the two guy. And it came out so wrong because she founds out that both of them love her, but still they weren't being honest to her. She cried in her sleep, and it gave her nightmares. Hoping that when she woke up, everything will just go away and she'll be starting her life again like normal. 

But it didn't happened. As time goes by, she became that one girl who always disappear when it comes to socializing. That one girl who always keep quiet when something bad happen to her. That one girl who always shuts down everyone who tries to help her. That one girl who always laugh for her friends, but crying in her heart. It hurts her so bad that she could not stand it anymore. Every night is the same night for her. She hates thinking. But that is what he does every time now. And it kills her slowly everyday. "Why must I choose? Why must they come into my life?" She kept on asking herself. Until now, she became emotion-less. And she gave up. This is not what she wanted in her life. 

She realized that she's hurting herself. "Men are just men," she thought. They'll find a prettier girl, and they'll start chasing that girl and leaves her alone. This is just the routine in love. They come and go. So, she stopped thinking and start living. Cause she knows, "if the guy loves her, no matter what, he'll stay and be happy for what makes her happy."

And she doesn't live happily ever after. Because there's no prince charming and stuff. But she is really sure that on one fine day, she'll find the happy ending.

The End.

The girl.

HOW CAN YOU HATE SOMEONE SO HARD?

You won't know how someone you hate the most before can be the one who understands you the most. I never knew that it could happen. Mom always told me, when you hate someone, be prepared to love them too. People are born to judge. Every time they first met, the first thing they do is judge. Maybe by the look, maybe by the outside attitude of that someone. And I did the same too. And that's when I realize it was my biggest mistake. Without knowing how that someone is really nice to me, I just judge. Because he/she may did something that make me pissed. But that's just it. Now, I was left alone in this world full of lies. When friends are gone, they came. The people that I used to hate, they came, helping me. Lifting me up, motivate me to stay positive in my life. And I actually cry. Not because of what they said, because what I've became before. Alone in my own world, I never thought that something upside down will happened. Everything is upside down. I've learned something in life and try to fix it now. The lesson in life. 

xoxo, 

Nurul Hidayah.

BELIEVER

You know, these days are never easy for me. It is not I can tell you that. o many unexpected things happened but yet, I think that incidents really taught me something. Taught me to not forever feel insecure. It's my first time ever being in a long distance relationship and I am scared that I'm gonna sucks at it. But, with the support I had, I don't have to be scared anymore. Insecurities will always be there with me. I'm not going to lie about that because all girls will feel the same. And yes, I do believe that trust is all you need when you're far apart because distance only separates you in the eyes, not in the heart. He told me so. And I have no doubts on him. Why should I? I trust him. I've spend almost 10 months with him together and I know he loves me as just the same as I do. Mimie once said to me, she doesn't really believes in 'trust needed when you're far apart'. She believed that when two person are separated by distance, they must have the feeling of needing each other and that what makes them always feel closed. And I am not saying it's wrong. For me, it's also true. When both of you needed each other, you won;t even forget each other. And I believed in that too. There are so many things that people keep saying about long distance relationship. Some also give negatives response, but it's just part of their opinion. The rest is all belong to me. I'm the one who's experiencing it, and I believe in my relationship. That's all matter. Can't wait for May to come. Dear May, please come sooner :) 

Believer,

Nurul Hidayah

Choices

Choices in life, there are so many of them. People choose their own choices. Why do you have to choose for them? When someone didn't choose the choices you want them to choose, you start to talk shit and start hating and make them feel little. Does that feels good to you? Make people feel small is pleasure to you? I don't know about you but it is not for me. Let people make their own choices. You've got to respect other choices or else people won't respect you. You think you're so perfect that all the choices you make is right and nothing goes wrong. If you think it that way, you've already making a mistake without you even realize about it. All choices came with many types of consequences and once they've made it, they'll face all the consequences they might get. You're not the one who's going to face it for them, so get a life. Stop talking and stop hating. You make your own choice. You're the one who makes people hate you. People didn't do anything to you. You harm yourself. You should know that. There are reasons why some people don't think the choices you've mad is right for them because they have their own standing. They choose their life. Talking shit abt them wont do anything for you. It'll makes people hate you more. When it comes to people's life choices, don't interfere. Let them be, unless they ask for you. Think.

p/s: this post doesn't meant to anyone. It's just an observation and friend's experiences. Don't get me wrong.

Make your own choices,

I CHOOSE TO LOVE

I guess, I just have to endure this feeling. Can't do anything about it anymore. It's between me and my heart. There's nothing else I can do. Nobody understands. Nobody really know about this person, which is me. Nobody knows. This feeling, I'll hide it with all the smile I have. I thought this is what we called sacrifice, but sooner or later,I feel like I'm a joke. Am I the only one who keep chasing when 'the other part of me' is not? Do I look that desperate cause I do feel like I'm a joke to everyone. Why can't I just stay away? Why can't I just forget? It's because I love. Yes, I love. I have thousand of reasons to be apart, but this love is stronger than any of that reasons. I stay cause I love. Don't tell me what to do. I'm maybe a joke, but this love is no joke. It's true. So, in the end, I endured this, and be a joke to everyone. Looking like a fool, just because I love. Is it wrong to love?

Enduring.

GOOD AT NOTHING

#WORDLESSPOST

Screw Myself. I'm good at nothing.

Why?

Why do you have to judge someone for his/her dark past? Is it necessary to do that? Do you think it is. Everyone has a dark past, nobody hasn't including you. Have you ever heard this, "Everyone deserves a second chance". Yes, everyone do deserves a second chance/ Just because he/she had a dark past, doesn't mean they are forever bad, disgusting, irritating or even queer. Past is a past, you just have to accept that. If you love someone, you will accept what really happened for their past and believed that the person has changed for his/her own good. You don't have the right to make them cry or sad just by remembering their past. It's true, some people are trying so hard to forget what happened on their past. Do you think it helped them when you keep bringing the things up? No, you're just hurting them more. Give them space. Sometimes, there are things you can't change, it's all by their own will. They forget what they want to forget. You don't have the right to make them remember it again. Try to understand deep into that person heart. What if you're on their shoes. Will you feel comfortable with it? When you said you love, it means you accept someone. Accept their dark past, accept their weaknesses, accept their little love from a big heart, accept that he/she really meant for you. Yes, you have to accept. Past can change someone. That's what you have to believe. I'm 19 and I do have my own dark past. It happen when I still a kid. A teenager. Where I don't think twice in doing something, where I made a lot of mistakes. Since then, I've changed. Changed for what happened in past. I don't want to repeat the same thing again. Past taught me that life always gave chances. Allah gives chances. So please, past is just past. Don't judge someone by it. Accept their changes.

Changed, 

Nurul Hidayah.

IT'S THE MATTER OF LIFE

Writing while imagining I'm sitting at the edge of it.

What should I right now? I got thousands of words to be written and I don;t even know how to express it. It's so hard since everything you post or say now will be judge. Yes it will, no matter from whom. Even if this is like an online diary for me,it's hard to spill everything out. People will be nonstop judging and I will be over-thinking about that. Abut what the horrible thing people will say. Life matter really does get harder when we gets older. As for now, I've lived in this world for almost 19 years and I've faced through a lot of things. Love is just one of the thing I faced. And now, I have to worry about lots of thing. Contrast to my childhood, the only thing I have to worry about is what will I have to say to mom if I dirt my clothes. As easy as that. Growing older is really not a simple thing, it's challenging. Sure it does. Amsyar once said to me, it's about love "You know what babe, at the age of people like us, 18/19, love really doesn't matter. You don't have to break your heart every time you fell in love. It doesn't even a thing that you should think and keep inside your head. When the time comes, true love will find you, itself. You just have to live your life. You're a woman, a cheerful lady as I know you before. Be that girl again, cut out all of the crying and remember to smile and laugh. It will make you feel better. Sure it will. Don't over-think as it will only make you miserable" Mom once said "Life will not be easy to you. But it doesn't mean that life is going to be hard. You'll be okay if you know how to live your life perfectly as you wanted to because when life gets harder, remember, it just want to teach you how to be stronger."And I think back, he actually got the point there. Why should I cry every night over the same thing and all the matter that bother me and the haters when I can easily smile and laugh with my life and be happy. I shouldn't have thought too much about it. As now, I just have to live my life and be happy. Sayang, if one day you'll be reading this post. I really hope you won't misunderstood. I do love you, always. It's not that I hate you or something. I'm just trying to cheer myself up. This girl is on fire now, let her live. Be stronger.

The End.

#HowIMetMyBestfriend

Another trend from Twitter that really reminds me of the memories. And this one really touches my heart. How I met my bestfriend? It's kinda ironic actually. The story begins when I first move to a new school. Before, at her eyes, I'm just a girl from KL ('kay ellll' poyo sikit enn) that come to Ipoh looking proud with myself cause I'm the 'princess-in-bracket' at that time. Lulz. For short, we started out our 'so-called-relationship' with becoming enemies. Haha. Kinda funny to recall back.We started out as enemies and somehow that hatred turned us into something special as bestfriend. Irony isn't it? Yeah ofc, before we became bff, we even said that we'll never ever ever ever be friends and now? Hehe. Thisis what I've learned in hating someone. When you hate someone, sooner or later, that person will be someone so close to you like she is to me now. We're not just friends, we're more like twins. I can't live without her and she can't live without me. We need each other and we complete each other. She's like a sister and tbh, she's my other half.  As long as she's with me, I don't need a man to cheer me up. I have her. We could be lesbiooonnnn. Lol~ Kidding. Don't take it so serious. Just a joke. Puh-leaseeeeee! I still have the feeling towards guys tho.I gotta a boyfriend, Aiman Adam, sorry baby, just a joke. Haha. Bestfriend is not just someone who will be by your side when you need them, give you the love you need or attention. Bestfriend is more like your other half. You'll stay together in any ways that happen. You won't leave each other and you don't even talk about each other at the back. Bestfriend is family. Yes it is. To me, she's my family. I love her as I love my family. It has been 1 year and 2 months since the accident and she's still the way she is. And I won't lose hope on her cause I know, she'll be okay. She'll remember, she'll be herself again. I always have that hope in me cause I love her. I want the best for her. Whatever I do now, I do it for her too. Cause she's a twin, and I'll never leave her behind. 

Dear Nur Zahirah, I won't lose hope on you, we'll go through this together twinnies. I love you always. Never will forget you. There's always hope and miracles. I'll keep praying for you. 

Love, a bestfriend, more like your other half.

SCREW MYSELF.

Life is just unfair. It is. When I'm trying to be nice, it still want to hurt me. When I'm staying with the bad side of mine, it still want to hurt me tho. What should I do now? Cause I feel like I'm damn stupid. I'm just stupid when I'm trying to be nice. People just step on my head like I mean nothing to the world. I'm just stupid. Screw me. 

ALHAMDULILLAH

Alhamdulillah.

For everything that Allah gave me. Well, it may not as good as I hope for. But it's okay. It wasn't that bad anyway. I still have the chances for my future. In shaa Allah, Allah has create the best future for me. I don't really know what to say. I am a little bit disappointed about it but that doesn't mean I have failed. I'm actually proud of myself, I've done the best for it. I still have a long way to go. And maybe there's a beautiful forest behind the mountains. Who knows. I just have to keep walking and travel. I may failed so many times in this life, but success is there. Right there in future waiting for me to achieve it. 

The End. 

IT'S ALL ABOUT 2013!

HEY THERE PEOPLE, 

Phs are just too mainstream.

Well first of all, I do wanna say Happy 2013 peeps. Time sure running so fast now. And I am unofficially 19 and will be official in abt 11 months more. Luls, who cares? I'm still 19. Haha I don't really hope much for this year. All I ever hope is just that let me change for good and be a better person. I know this new year won't even be nice to me like all the other years did except for my childhood years. So, I just hope I can face everything with my head up high and a smile on my face. It is better for me to just keep quiet when it hurts. (If you know what I mean) It won't change anything if I keep on arguing abt him. Men are just men which is so true and there's nothing I can do abt him. I just can pray and hope that someday he'll realize that this girl loves him with all her heart and she didn't expect more from him, she just wanted to be love. Yeah, I want him to actually appreciates me. Another hope for a new year. Hmp, I can't back down now cause I am not going to be weak just by small matters. I'll just keep on fighting and move on for the sake of my own future. Well, that is all. I don't really know what to wish on this new year post. All I hope is just that everything will gets better. In shaa Allah :)

The End. 

REMINDER

Someday you just have to remind yourself that it'll all be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Saying it enough that one day you'll actually believe it. Remind yourself that things have changed, it changed for a reason, people change for a reason. You just have to let go and move on. It's going to be hard and you're gonna feel lonely but just hold on, cause who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

The End.