DREAM #1

Dream. Some people believed in dreams, some people don't. But what do I think? Part of me wanted to believe that dreams will eventually came true, on the other part, I don't want it to be true cause some dreams are just so wrong and became nightmares. I've tried avoiding dream, but it's not mine to control. I've been dreaming a lot lately, and night by night, it's always the same dream. I mean, the same person keep coming into my dream. Was once someone I knew. WAS. Does it mean something? To keep dreaming about the same person with different scene in the dream. But why? It was the last thing I'd ever wanted to do, to dream about 'that person' because it hurts. Yes, it is. At times, I just wanted to stay awake the whole night, cause I don't want to dream. The more I try to avoid it, the more it kept coming into me. I've searched on the internet about what it meant, and most of the blog and psychologist said that:

1. They might be giving us something valuable in future. 

2. Both of you have such a strong bond. (or in other words, both of you are attached )

3. That person is remembering us too. 

But then again, I'm in denial. I decided not to believe and I blame myself for it. Maybe I'm just been thinking about lot of things lately. Handling my husband, my Muhammad, my study and my life. Maybe I'm just too stress that I've started thinking nonsense. There's no need in me to precise whether the person that came in my dream is a he/she because public make speculation and I'm trying to avoid it. Whatever the dream means, I hope that it will be good for me in future or nothing will ever happen. Because we all know some dreams are good, and some are just nightmares and bring dark to us. ( excuse for my Star Wars language ) I hope it won't and I hope this dream will stop. VERY SOON. And if it don't, I'll ask my dream catcher to catch that dream and throw it far far far far far away. 

You Know Who I Am,

That 90s Kid. 

SOME THINGS THAT I'VE LEARNED

 

 

Time will keep moving and we will keep living. Time changes everything in our life, as time goes by, lot of events will happened in our life. Some will make us feel happy, some will hurt us, and some event just mean nothing to us. But, thru times I've learned so many things in life just by living. Almost 20 years of living, these are what things that I've really learned;

 

• Try as hard as you can not to judge. Each person is the way they are because of some reason. You don't know what happened in their past that made them that way. Will you feel great if people judge you the way you judge them? You will be sad when you're judged cause nobody knows the reason behind what you are now. So, try not to judge even how bad they are.

 

• It is good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It's easy to get comfortable with your daily routine, but this is the surest way to kill your spirit. Even if you don't feel like doing something, you never know what could happen if you do. So, stand up and get out of the fence you built around your spirit and just take the challenge to do something you never done before.

 

• Be kind. In the end, people will want to be around you if you make them feel good about themselves. Not only that, but it will make you feel good about yourself too. If you be little people, it won't make you feel any good about yourself. It will just ruin your mind and soul because all you do is let the negativity take control of you and pushing the positivity away. 

 

• Keep an open mind. You don't know everything and you're not always right. Take everything in. Try to accept what others are trying to say because sometimes their opinion might be great for your life too.

 

• Keep a journal. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy, journal is a good thing. It's not a girly thing. In our life, there are still things that we can't talk about with other people even with our own best friend because it's just don't seem right to share it when the only person who understand it is just you. Write it in a journal cause you might feel like reading it again in future and just remembering it.

 

• The past and future aren't real. There is only NOW.

 

• Learn to be happy even if you are on your own. Lonely doesn't always have to mean sadness or grief. Be happy.

 

• Spend time outside every day. Go on walks or lay in the grass. It's easy to forget how important nature is, but I think it has a lot to do with happiness. Stop living in the technology for awhile and just go out, breathe the air.

 

• Take a good care of yourself because you only have one body. Don't torture your body. Don't do dieting just to look skinny and pretty because your body need energy too. Be satisfied with your body.

 

• Books are not boring. Reading good books will just make me feel happier and smarter.

 

• Just love. Don't be afraid to fall in love. It might hurt you several times, but love is just another 'try and error' process. I've fallen in love for so many times before and hurt at the same time. And now, I'm married to a man that never failed to make me fall in love again and again every day.

 

• Be curious and cautious at the same time. Everything is fascinating when you take a look at it close enough.

 

and the most important thing is...

 

• You are perfect. The only thing left to work on is realizing it.

Never forget to live,

 

hdyhmzln

Hey birthday girl, smile please

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. 

Finally, after waiting for too long, I'm officially 19 now. And guess what, it wasn't the birthday I've ever dreamed of. I cried almost every time when I'm alone this whole day. I'm missing my mom, I'm missing home, I'm missing my bestfriend, I'm missing my man. I'm sick. Mixed feeling, can't control my emotions. I can break down so easily whenever someone ask me "Why?". Just don't ask, not now. Not when I'm in a fragile moment. Every year, I'll celebrate my birthday with joy, laughter, love and people I care the most around me. But not now. Not today. Not this year. This is the bad birthday I've ever had. I don't even feel like celebrating it. 

I'm hallucinating of being at home right now. And just be happy in my room. Feeling satisfy, feeling like a princess. The more I write, the more tears fall down from my face. I've tried not to cry. But these tears just won't listen. It keeps on falling down. Like a waterfall that will never stop falling. What I need the most right now is not presents. I need a hug. A hug from mom to tell me that everything will be okay and she'll be here with me all along. I need it the most. I need my man to sit next to me and keep on repeating 'I Love You' so it can make my heart feels better. I need my sisters to be around me, so I can laugh at their attempt to make jokes and make me smile. I need my bestfriend to be here with me, to wipe my tears away whenever it falls. 

Ya Allah, for my birthday this year, I won't ask for more, all I want from you is to forgive all my sins and please please please give me the strength to move on for another month and this will all be over InsyaAllah. And please protect the people I care the most from Satan, pain, sins, and anything bad. Please give me strength. Cause I need it. 

Hey birthday girl, happy birthday. Smile. For the sake of yourself and people around you.

Mawar.

KAU PENCURI CAHAYA BULAN

P/S: Credits to #seratusmulut. Puisi yang aku buat untuk Seratus Mulut.

KAU PENCURI CAHAYA BULAN

Dulu aku lihat bulan itu terang,

Namun semakin kau menjauh,

Semakin malap cahayanya--

Mungkin kau pergi membawa cahaya itu bersama,

Kerana sewaktu kau melangkah pergi,

Aku hilang cahaya di kala malamku.

Namun,

Masih aku perhati bulan itu,

Tanpa aku mengerlipkan mataku,

Walau cahayanya semakin pudar.

Kerana bulan itu satu kepastian,

Kepastian buat aku untuk tahu kau masih lagi tersenyum melihat bulan yang sama,

Mungkin bukan aku yang berada di dalam ingatan kau saat itu,

Aku tak kisah---

Wahai sang bulan,

Pergilah kau, pergi bersama dia,

Berikan dia cahaya yang paling terang,

Cahaya yang dapat sentiasa menyinari senyuman manis itu,

Agar setiap kali aku lihat bulan,

Aku dapat lihat wajah dan senyum itu walau dia jauh dan bukan milik aku lagi.

Amatur,

Mawar

KEKHILAFAN MANUSIA

  P/S: Credits to #seratusmulut. Puisi yang aku buat untuk Seratus Mulut.

KEKHILAFAN MANUSIA

Manusia--

Di saat bersedih

Mereka akan pertikaikan di mana Allah pada saat itu

Meninggalkan mereka sendirian terkapai

Dalam dugaaan.

Sedar atau tidak

Allah itu sentiasa ada.

Dugaan yang diberikan

Hanya untuk buat kita lebih ingat dan dekat padaNya.

Janganlah terus berduka

Berdoalah pada Allah,

InsyaAllah, Dia akan membantu hambaNya.

Allah tidak pernah meninggalkan kita sendirian,

Ingatlah----

Allah menulis segalanya,

Suka duka kita,

Allah berikan semua.

Hati itu, jadikan ia milik Allah,

Kerana itu adalah hakikatnya.

La Tahzan!

Amatur,

Mawar.

KITA INI PELENGKAP

P/S: Credits to #seratusmulut. Puisi yang aku buat untuk Seratus Mulut.

KITA INI PELENGKAP 

Perlumbaan dunia tiada penamatnya,

Lelaki, wanita, sibuk dengan hal duniawi,

Terdetik seketika dalam hati aku,

Inikah matlamat sebenar lelaki dan wanita diciptakan ke dunia ini?

Yang lelaki dengan egonya,

Yang perempuan dengan emosinya,

Masing-masing sibuk bersaing

Untunk mencapai sesuatu yang tiada kepastiannya,

Sedangkan mereka dicipta sebagai sebuah pasangan yang saling melengkapi kekurangan,

Dicipta lelaki gagah perkasa

Mencari mana hilang tulang rusuknya--

Datang wanita sebagai pelengkap diri

Menjadi tulang rusuk, peneman abadi.

Jadi mengapa perlu masing-masing cuba tunjuk hebat?

Sedangkan kita saling melengkapi.

Takbur yang kau pegang itu,

Buangkan jauh jauh, campak dalam perigi

Tiada siapa yang lebih hebat.

Lelaki dan wanita saling memerlukan,

Saling melengkapi, sempurnakan diri.

Amatur, 

Mawar. 

100 pemuisi #seratusmulut

Its a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I still cant make a decision. 
Should I join it? Or shouldn't I? 
I'm an amateur. I'm not a pro in literature. I write, but only on blogs. But I always wanted to write a book. And published my book. And this is like a step forward in achieving my dream. If my poem got selected and be one of the 100 people that they selected, it will be published in a book called 'Seratus Mulut'. Who wouldn't want it? But I don't think I'm good enough to enter this cause I don't know. I'm lack of confidence I guess. 
Should I or shouldn't I? Ugh, I hate making decision. But it's a chance that I will never know if I could get it again in the future. 

But then again, if there's anyone who's interested in this, do join it. And visit seratusmulut.tumblr.com for more inquiry :)
Let us all support the Malaysian writers!

P/S: Sorry for being lost from this blog about 3 months. Been busy with all the study thingy. 

A writer in the making, in dreams.