Hey birthday girl, smile please

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. 

Finally, after waiting for too long, I'm officially 19 now. And guess what, it wasn't the birthday I've ever dreamed of. I cried almost every time when I'm alone this whole day. I'm missing my mom, I'm missing home, I'm missing my bestfriend, I'm missing my man. I'm sick. Mixed feeling, can't control my emotions. I can break down so easily whenever someone ask me "Why?". Just don't ask, not now. Not when I'm in a fragile moment. Every year, I'll celebrate my birthday with joy, laughter, love and people I care the most around me. But not now. Not today. Not this year. This is the bad birthday I've ever had. I don't even feel like celebrating it. 

I'm hallucinating of being at home right now. And just be happy in my room. Feeling satisfy, feeling like a princess. The more I write, the more tears fall down from my face. I've tried not to cry. But these tears just won't listen. It keeps on falling down. Like a waterfall that will never stop falling. What I need the most right now is not presents. I need a hug. A hug from mom to tell me that everything will be okay and she'll be here with me all along. I need it the most. I need my man to sit next to me and keep on repeating 'I Love You' so it can make my heart feels better. I need my sisters to be around me, so I can laugh at their attempt to make jokes and make me smile. I need my bestfriend to be here with me, to wipe my tears away whenever it falls. 

Ya Allah, for my birthday this year, I won't ask for more, all I want from you is to forgive all my sins and please please please give me the strength to move on for another month and this will all be over InsyaAllah. And please protect the people I care the most from Satan, pain, sins, and anything bad. Please give me strength. Cause I need it. 

Hey birthday girl, happy birthday. Smile. For the sake of yourself and people around you.

Mawar.

18 IS MY AGE.

20th November - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF! :D

I had such a great birthday yesterday. What else can I say and ask for? Most of the wishes on my wish list are already granted. Haha Alhamdulillah. Thank you to Allah for still giving me the chance to live for 18 year. I'm grateful to that. I really am. And thanks to mom for hvng me into this world, carrying me in her belly for 9 months. Thanks to my dad for taking a good care of me until I've become 18 which means I'm already an adult. Hehe. & I should act like one. No more immature decision and playfulness. But, I still trying to get rid of that from myself. Seriously. Haha All I wish for this year is that I can be a better person to my parents, my sisters and to my Creator, Allah. I'm really happy for my birthday. But the sad things is, my girlfriends are not here with me. Hmp. Lilo is still in her 'conditions' and B is at KL, not coming back to Ipoh. I just want them to be with me like all the years before. I've never missed a year celebrating my birthday with them. But since we all get our own life now, everything changed. But I'm glad they still remember my birthday. And I can't wait to meet them a.s.a.p. And thanks to sayang too, for willing to be on the phone with me for just about 1 hour actually. Haha I miss talking to you. Thanks to Hotlink for the free calls. Well Alhamdulillah, now that I'm 18, everything I do, it's based on my own decision. So I should be a woman now, not a girl anymore. Not forgetting, for those who wished my birthday, thanks a lot! Really appreciated that. 

This is what I got for my birthday ;

A birthday card from dad. I love you dad!

A gift from sayang. Hehe. These two teddies are so cute. I named them Aiman & Nurul for us. Let him be the chef and I'm the cake holder. I love you :*

A birthday wish from Qi Razali. What else can I asked for? Haha getting a wish from him is on the top of my wish list. I'm so glad for it. Thanks Qi Razali.

And finally, Birthday Dinner at Nando's with my family. Mom treated us. Thanks mom. You know that I love Nando's. Hehe.

Thanks for today Ya Allah. 

Love,

Nurul Hidayah.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

Dear dad, 

Happy 45th Birthday Daddy! 

Happy getting old day to you. I know that I'm suppose to say "You're 45 already?" But what's really on my mind is, "Seriously dad? You're just 45? I thought you're 50 something." Hahaha, sorry dad. but its the truth. You look old to me. Yeah, whatever it is, you'll always be my dad. I still remember, when we still live in under one roof, we always celebrated our birthday together cause mine is just 3 days after yours. I still hoping for that to happen again dad. How I miss you. Well, anyway, I just wanna say Happy Birthday and may Allah bless you with all His love. I'm sure He will. I love you dad. Like love love love love love a lot! Hahhaha, InsyaAllah, I'll go back to Ampang and give you your present. My hugs and kisses for you dad :) Hehe, have a happy life dad. I'm with you all along. 

With love, 

Your truly amazing awesome cutest brilliant little princess daughter. 

XOXO, love you dad :)