JUST STOP.

One incident can change one's whole life. Yes, it is. And in my case, one incident, changes my whole perception. These days, we (women), tend to feel like we're the vulnerable one, the one who keeps on hurting in any kind of matter, the one that will always be the losing player in a game, the one that will never be happy, the one that always am the victim. But here's what we're wrong about it. Men, they do have feelings too. They are. The only difference between us and them is that we tend to show our feelings and emotions, but they're using their ego to hide it. Whenever they feel sad, they hide their tears with ego. Man and their ego, can't be separated just like us, women can't be separated by emotions and feelings. 

I've seen my dad at his worst. 

I've seen my man at his worst. 

Tears running down from their eyes, their precious tears,

in front of me, and I died in that moment. 

I felt like I'm the chosen one. Why? Because I can actually look at them in the eyes when they're crying. And a hug was given by me, Trying to make everything better. But I just can't. The warm of the hug is not enough to solve everything. But it sure can comfort us in that moment. Men feel hurt. They can be so vulnerable at one time either. And it is not our right to judge them by saying, "All men are the same." Yes, "Men will always be men." But what if the men said the same thing to us? "All women are the same." Will we like it? To be compared to other girls? I don't. Absolutely not. Cause I have my own specialty. I'm different. That's how they felt about it too. So, enough with all the men hurt women thingy, men doesn't have feelings and whatsoever. 

Because it is so not true. I've seen two of my favorite man at their worst and I know how does it feels like to see a man got weak and get rid of their ego for just a moment. All of our tears are precious. Even if we're women or men, Both are the same. So, appreciate each other. That's what we should do from now on. 

Mawar. 

FRANKLY SPEAKING,

 Frankly speaking, 

Love stories generally build up to a romantic climax and then end, leaving us with the impression that the couple lived happily ever after. Sadly, the reality is rarely as rosy as this.In the first flush of love nothing much matters beyond being together - no sacrifice is too great if it helps you spend more time with the person whose mere presence intoxicates you. But when the intoxication starts to wear off, as it does unfortunately, little misunderstandings start to occur, causing friction, irritation, long cold silences or angry rows and the rosy image of love can give way to a deep sense of disillusion.

Why is there this friction between men and women?

The root cause of the problem, apparently, is that men and women don't understand just how different they are emotionally. Men and women respond to problems in very different ways and consequently have very different emotional needs. When people insist on their own needs and fail to properly appreciate the needs of their partners there is bound to be friction.

Women, typically, deal with problems and stresses by talking about how they feel. A woman may easily feel overwhelmed and by talking she will find relief and feel less upset. There is no need necessarily to deal with the practicalities of the problem - they are of secondary significance. What really matters is expressing herself, exploring her emotions and getting the support from a loving relationship in which she feels that she is understood.

Whereas women want to talk and talk about their problems, men withdraw into the caves of their mind to focus on solving the problem. A man's self-esteem is built on a sense of how competent he is, so he feels he must develop the skills to solve his problems on his own. Asking for help or idly expressing how terrible you feel is perceived as an admission of weakness and incompetence. Rather than looking for understanding, men want their partners to admire them for the way they achieve their goals.

The more busy life becomes, the greater this friction will be. As the problems men face seem greater and more intractable, the more they need to escape and the less they are able to patiently sit and lovingly listen to their partner's frustrations. The more demanding a woman's life becomes, the greater her emotional turmoil is and the more she has to express. If her partner is glued to the TV or out skydiving all the time, they will grow further and further apart.

With a little, men and women can understand each other better and learn to respect their differences. He thinks that women can start to respect that men need to withdraw to cope with stress and they can realise that this doesn't mean that they no longer love them. And he is convinced that men can find that listening to their partner talk about her problems could actually help them come out of their caves in the same way as watching TV or skydiving. Apparently, men need to be needed. By learning to listen without giving solutions they can see how much of a positive difference they can make in their partner's life and thus appreciate how important they are. So the key to keeping the flames of love alight would seem to be less telly and more listening.

p/s: frankly speaking, this is true. Most of these theories came from John Gray's book. Read his books, he's good :)

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

I DECIDED....

The doll from He's Beautiful :)

I decided...

I decided to be quiet today.

I decided to stay quiet.

I decided to keep everything in my heart, starting from today.

The fact is, even if I speak it out loud, nobody will ever listens, nobody's going to pay attention, nobody's going to remember that moment. So, I decided to keep it quiet, all by myself. I don't even know why. But sometimes, letting out everything that you feel in your heart doesn't really good. Saying this from my own experience. When someone doesn't knows you better, and start judging you and you feel intimidate by it, you'll became frustrated and start think negatively about yourself. Well, it happens to me. Before and even now. I've always feel a little bit insecure with myself. Err, not that 'little bit'. Its actually 'A LOT'. I am so insecure with myself. I've always think that what if when I've found a guy, and he doesn't loves me the way I am. I am insecure that he might find somebody else when he got bored with me. I am insecure with everything that I have in my life. "Insecure" another words that really synonyms with the girls. Well, most of the girls I know are insecure with themselves. Urgh, I don't even know how to express it. So, I decided to be quiet. Maybe it's best to just keep it with me and my heart. Hoping that everything will passed by with times. I decided....I decided to keep it.

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIP

Assalammualaikum,
Dear Readers♥

Friendship is a feeling of love and affection of one person for another. This feeling of love must be reciprocated. Otherwise friendship cannot be possible. Friendship does not exist where tastes, feelings and sentiments are not similar. It is said that a friend in need is a friend in deed. There may be many friends at the time of prosperity. But most of them desert at the time of adversity. We can examine the sincerity of a friend during our time of hardship and trouble. Only a sincere and faithful friend remains with us at the time of our trouble. All others leave us. It is very painful when our friends turn traitors. Sometimes I wonder God has given us so many relations to cherish where each one of it having its own importance in our life. Friendship is the only relation out of all which is apart from caste, class, blood or status. It just needs to check the love in the heart of the other person to be friends with. So why do we need friends? What is the importance of friendship in our life? After wondering a lot, I got my answer.

Whenever I am upset, they are the first one who notices that sadness in my eyes, no matter how hard I try to hide it behind my smile. Whenever I am stuck in a problem and have no solution, no matter how serious the issue may be, they are the one who provides me the best possible way out of it. Whenever I need a company they are the one who come to me and make me laugh leaving behind other things. Even if it is about convincing parents for a night out or going to a friend’s birthday party at discotheque, friends are best in their job. They are the people with whom everything can be discussed without a pre-thought that it is personal. Whenever you look back in your life, you’ll realize they are the one with whom you have shared the best and the worst. With so much dire need of friends in our life how can we think of existing without them? Though we have many people around us, but there are only close friends who make all the difference. If they are present nothing else matter. Friendship is that innocent feeling as of a small child whose love is unconditional, uncommitted and yet so pure. Friends are a family outside home where the responsibility of each person is shared equally by everyone else. Like a family, they guide you to a right path and never let you divert from your target. They are good to be relied on and there is a sense of security whenever you are with them.

Friendship is like an investment, the more you invest the more you reap. An investment is in terms of trust and faith which is the root of any strong relation. No matter how much you spend together on your vodkas or how many night outs you have enjoyed together, if there is no seed of trust and faith in the soil the tree of friendship cannot stand long. Life with friends becomes an easy going journey that you would never like to get over with. Each day spent with them is to be cherished in a different way even if some days bring lot of misunderstandings or fights. But whatever it is, friendship is an old book, while turning its pages you go through a lot of mixed feelings realizing that even after sharing the best and the worst you are still together.

credit to  ; Shilpa Gupta 

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

IT COMES BACK TO YOU

Assalammualaikum,
Dear Readers♥ 

First of all, I wanna say Hi and Assalammualaikum to July. Welcome back July in a brand new year :) Hopefully, this July will be 'just fine' to me and please be nice to me. Cause, July is a test month. Almost every subject will have their first test in July. May everything goes well, InsyaAllah. The thing is now, Im not going to talk about July actually cause I've always talked the same thing about July almost every year. So, just shorten it a bit for this year. Hewhew :3

I've realise something now after it has been a month since Im here, (in Shah Alam) away from the closest people around me. "Remember to always be nice to everyone even if that person do bad things to you or maybe hurt you. Cause what goes around will comes back around". Mom always said this to me when Im going somewhere far from her for long time. And time just proven that the phrases is true. it does happen to me. Well, here's a lil' bit story about it. As you know, I have a boyfriend before (which is my ex now). And Im really closed with his family. And his family are just like mine. But as written by Allah, we are not belong to each other even we wanted to. Me and him broke up last year. And as mom has said, always be nice even he'd hurt me at that time. I've accepted that the relationship is over with all my heart cause I know that something do happen for a reason. And until now, we still in contact like a friend. Like we used to be a 'friend' before. The amazing thing is, me and his family are still like a family. Got it? Even his mom, his sisters, his cousins and so on still being nice to me. They visited me in UiTM. Sending me awesome meals, (esp his mom pudings). Hanging out with me on weekends and so on. Honestly, at first, I feel like I dont wanna involve with any of his family anymore but the phrases that mom said always there in my mind. And I am so grateful that I listen to mom. (Well, mom always knows the best) 


Now, even that Im far away from mom, from my family, I still have a 'family' here :) So, I wont be that homesick actually cause I know that there's still someone, some people who do cares about me here. So peeps, just a reminder to you, always be nice, delete the word 'payback' in your life dictionary. Just be nice to people. Cause everything will comes back to you. Sooner or late~

p/s: I hate test. lol~

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

STRESS-NESS.

Assalammualaikum, 
Dear Readers, 


It has been a week since I've started my classes here in UiTM Shah Alam as an Asasi TESL's student. Before we ( the Asasi TESL's student ) were determined to be on what group, Dr. Jamiah has organised one test called 'Placement Test' to see how much do we know about English and how much do we understand English before you group us into different classes. And for me, the test was quite okay. Not too hard and not too easy. It was just okay. But suprisingly, after knowing the result from the test, I was so shock that I was placed into the last group which is Group E. We only have 5 groups for the Asasi TESL's student. Group A until Group E. And I was so disappointed with myself as to be honest, I've never been in the last place before. I am not trying to show off or being arrogant, but in school, I have always been the best English student for my teacher and now I know where do I really belong to. I was never that 'clever' in English. I still have a lot of things to be learn. And I was so down, majorly break down when I know I was in a Group E. Nobody wants to be in the last place aite? But here, in UiTM, I was in the last place and I feel so so so stupid. Each of us, who belongs in Group E, are really disappointed with ourselves. Some of us, just hate themselves. Seriously, its the fact. Whenever we bumped into Group A or Group B, and here them talking to each other, they sound so sophisticated and elegant and so matured. So, we just feel like we dont even belong here, to be an Asasi TESL's student. So, I called my mom. And told her about everything that happened. About me, being in a Group E and blah blah blah. When my mom starts to speak, using her wise words as she usually does whenever I seek for an advice at her, tears falls down from my eyes. Mom is so supportive. When I told her that I was placed in the last class, she never said that she feels 'disappointed'. Not a single words that have the same meanings with the word 'disappointed' came out from her mouth. All she said is just supportive words to build me up again after I've 'broke down'. All she told me is just to be strong for this one year and struggle. Show 'em all that being in a Group E which is the last group, doesnt mean that Im stupid. It means, I'll just have to take a few more steps to success and much more. All the things that mom said to me really makes me cry. I cry in front of my classmates and never feel ashamed about that. Those tears that fall down from my eyes, is the tears of me, being proud to be born as my mom's daughter. I have a supportive mom. Thank you for that Allah, for giving me the best mom ever. 


Well, I am a little bit stress right now. Because of assignments and so on. But never stresses about being in the Group E. No more. To be honest, Group E is the best Group among all. We live as a family in one classes. We, boys and girls live like we're brothers and sisters. W go lunch together, hang put together and sometimes even cry together whenever we feel so stress. And we're the best. Group E is the best. No words could describe how glad I am to be in this Group. I'll never regret it. 

From the left up, Amir, Nik, Ika, Lyana, Patricia, Syuhada, Ain Syuhada, Shamin, Mira Syuds, Ishaa, Dibah.
On the second row, from the left, Nurrun, Qistina, Mek Wan Syuhada, Me, Ikmal, cant remember the last guy name. Sorry,
Last row, the front row, from the left, Noor, Mimie, Shazlyn, Faiz, Hakeem.

Lunch Time Together~

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

A YEAR TO STRUGGLE

Assalammualaikum dear readers,

First, I am so sorry for not updated my blog for uncountable days. I'm too busy settling the Uni thingy. And Alhamdulillah, I am now is a legal student in Asasi TESL UiTM Shah Alam. And things are change now. Everything I do, I need to do on my own. No mom to help me, no daddy to instruct me, no brother to annoy me and no best friend to cheer my day. Everything is a brand new thing to me. As you knwo, for those who's taking 'Asasi' or 'Foundation' have only 1 year to study in the University. I've feel so stressed out about that actually. 1 year is not enough for me to study. Like seriously. Even SPM, we took 2 years to finish all the chapters. (not all actually) And when I hears that Dr.Jamiah said, for Asasi TESL's student, we have only about 4 months from 12 months only tostudy and prepare for our finals, I was like HUH!!!!!!! We're students, not robots. I cried, I cried every night thinking about what will happen to me, what pointer will I get, can I get along with the lecturers and courses, can I be a successfull student, or most important thing is, am I really qualified to be an Asasi TESL student? Lot of things I've been thinking in my mind. Im scared that I would failed, Im scared that I'll dissappoint my mom. Im scared that I can be the only family's hope. Hm, all I ever hope right now is I can get along with everything. I really hope everything will be just fine at the college and faculty. I'll pray to Allah, everytime after I perform my solat. InsyaAllah, Allah's listen. And now, Im begging for all of you, to pray for me to and InsyaAllah I pray for all of you. Dear mom, if you're here, I want you to wipe my tears and give me your warmest hug. I miss you :')

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

BEAUTY IS INSIDE OF YOU.

Assalammualaikum♥

“I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness.” ― Drew Barrymore

P/S : Im going to write a long speech today. Cause im sick of girls worrying about looking pretty.

Beauty? That is all a girl think about each day ever since they were a kid or grown up. I think about being beauty. Even mom does it. Admit it, all girl do think about it. They just wanna be pretty. When we were born, mostly the first sentence that came from our parents mouth is "Aww, you're so pretty" Since that moment, all the girl only know about is being pretty. Here's a little information about why girls wanna be pretty as  they grew up. When we're in kindergarten, a girl wanna be pretty so that she could have a lot of friend. No kids wanna be friend with ugly kids. And when we're in primary, a girl still wanna look beautiful so that she could be the most popular girl in the school and build up a gang called 'The Popular Girls'. And as we're in highschool, a girl wanna be pretty so that she could impress a guy to be her boyfriend. Any girl with no boyfriend will got mocked. That is so highschool. And as we're grew up more and lived in a college life, a girl wanna be pretty so that she could be an icon and everyone will loves her. And lastly, even if we're a grown ups lady/woman, we still wanna look pretty for our husband. There's no wrong about trying to be pretty. But what is wrong is most definition of pretty that I always hear from people is a girl that have black/blonde-shiny-wavy hair, fair skin, blue/green eyes, perfect white teeth, clean fingernails, and the most important part is, they have to be skinny. 

The truth is, you dont have to be that one kind of girl to being called pretty. No matter if you have curly hair, wearing braces, a fat girl with small eyes. IT REALLY DONT MATTER. What matter the most is, you're happy with the way you look. You live your life with that body that God creates for you. Happiness is the key to be pretty. Pretty is not about the outside look of you. Beauty is inside of you. You just need to live happily with a smile on your face and thats it. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Not every girl in this world could have such a perfection pretty look on the outside. Those girls who are born with that look is just lucky. Even if you dont have that kind of look, it doesnt mean you're unlucky, you just different from those girls. why do you have to try hard to fit in with those pretty and skinny girls when you have your own chance to stand out with the beauty inside of you. If its about boys, forget it. You dont have to be pretty for boys. Only stupid and moron guy will judge and love you the way you look. If they love you because of your looks, they're just trying to sleep with you. Seriously. But if a guy, love you because the beauty inside of you, inside of your heart, without judging on the way you look, it really means he loves you. Love will find you girls someday. A prince will always look for his princess, just like fairytales. So girls, just wait. 

I've stand up my opinion on being pretty. So think about it. Its not just about the look, beauty is inside of you. Just think of a way to let it out. Be happy, that is only what you need to be pretty. Stop hating your body. You cant be Angelina Jolie or Katie Holmes or other actress. Dont be anyone else, be you and stay happy.

Mandisa-True Beauty. The lyrics♥

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛