DREAM #1

Dream. Some people believed in dreams, some people don't. But what do I think? Part of me wanted to believe that dreams will eventually came true, on the other part, I don't want it to be true cause some dreams are just so wrong and became nightmares. I've tried avoiding dream, but it's not mine to control. I've been dreaming a lot lately, and night by night, it's always the same dream. I mean, the same person keep coming into my dream. Was once someone I knew. WAS. Does it mean something? To keep dreaming about the same person with different scene in the dream. But why? It was the last thing I'd ever wanted to do, to dream about 'that person' because it hurts. Yes, it is. At times, I just wanted to stay awake the whole night, cause I don't want to dream. The more I try to avoid it, the more it kept coming into me. I've searched on the internet about what it meant, and most of the blog and psychologist said that:

1. They might be giving us something valuable in future. 

2. Both of you have such a strong bond. (or in other words, both of you are attached )

3. That person is remembering us too. 

But then again, I'm in denial. I decided not to believe and I blame myself for it. Maybe I'm just been thinking about lot of things lately. Handling my husband, my Muhammad, my study and my life. Maybe I'm just too stress that I've started thinking nonsense. There's no need in me to precise whether the person that came in my dream is a he/she because public make speculation and I'm trying to avoid it. Whatever the dream means, I hope that it will be good for me in future or nothing will ever happen. Because we all know some dreams are good, and some are just nightmares and bring dark to us. ( excuse for my Star Wars language ) I hope it won't and I hope this dream will stop. VERY SOON. And if it don't, I'll ask my dream catcher to catch that dream and throw it far far far far far away. 

You Know Who I Am,

That 90s Kid. 

SOME THINGS THAT I'VE LEARNED

 

 

Time will keep moving and we will keep living. Time changes everything in our life, as time goes by, lot of events will happened in our life. Some will make us feel happy, some will hurt us, and some event just mean nothing to us. But, thru times I've learned so many things in life just by living. Almost 20 years of living, these are what things that I've really learned;

 

• Try as hard as you can not to judge. Each person is the way they are because of some reason. You don't know what happened in their past that made them that way. Will you feel great if people judge you the way you judge them? You will be sad when you're judged cause nobody knows the reason behind what you are now. So, try not to judge even how bad they are.

 

• It is good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It's easy to get comfortable with your daily routine, but this is the surest way to kill your spirit. Even if you don't feel like doing something, you never know what could happen if you do. So, stand up and get out of the fence you built around your spirit and just take the challenge to do something you never done before.

 

• Be kind. In the end, people will want to be around you if you make them feel good about themselves. Not only that, but it will make you feel good about yourself too. If you be little people, it won't make you feel any good about yourself. It will just ruin your mind and soul because all you do is let the negativity take control of you and pushing the positivity away. 

 

• Keep an open mind. You don't know everything and you're not always right. Take everything in. Try to accept what others are trying to say because sometimes their opinion might be great for your life too.

 

• Keep a journal. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy, journal is a good thing. It's not a girly thing. In our life, there are still things that we can't talk about with other people even with our own best friend because it's just don't seem right to share it when the only person who understand it is just you. Write it in a journal cause you might feel like reading it again in future and just remembering it.

 

• The past and future aren't real. There is only NOW.

 

• Learn to be happy even if you are on your own. Lonely doesn't always have to mean sadness or grief. Be happy.

 

• Spend time outside every day. Go on walks or lay in the grass. It's easy to forget how important nature is, but I think it has a lot to do with happiness. Stop living in the technology for awhile and just go out, breathe the air.

 

• Take a good care of yourself because you only have one body. Don't torture your body. Don't do dieting just to look skinny and pretty because your body need energy too. Be satisfied with your body.

 

• Books are not boring. Reading good books will just make me feel happier and smarter.

 

• Just love. Don't be afraid to fall in love. It might hurt you several times, but love is just another 'try and error' process. I've fallen in love for so many times before and hurt at the same time. And now, I'm married to a man that never failed to make me fall in love again and again every day.

 

• Be curious and cautious at the same time. Everything is fascinating when you take a look at it close enough.

 

and the most important thing is...

 

• You are perfect. The only thing left to work on is realizing it.

Never forget to live,

 

hdyhmzln

HOROSCOPE SAYINGS #1

Found this on Tumblr. Well, in Islam, we are not suppose to believe about the horoscope thingy. But, if only it tells about what our future will be. If the horoscope tells us about our personalities or something like that, it is okay, to actually believe it. I'm not that kind of girl who actually believe in this thing, but this post on Tumblr, did make me realize something. My horoscope is Scorpio and him is Taurus. Now, let's see what the horoscope tells about me and him. I mean, our personalities. 

SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21) 

*Me is on November 20*

EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good as spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.

TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 - May 20) 

*Him is on May 17*

Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something, they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth.

And you know what I've found? I've found this is great. Actually, it's kind of true. Some of it is true. Really true. Even both of us have this same personality in horoscope, which is loves being in long relationships. Yes, we like that. And hoping that we can keep this relationship forever. Sometimes, horoscope can be interesting. Most of the saying is actually true, whether it's about me or him. And I actually laugh when I came across to read this. Haha. He is one of a kind that will fight and try anything to get what they want. He is that one of kind that just make me love him more. I'm thankful to have him even after all that we've been through. With all those tears, screaming and laughing. We still love each other. 

The Addict, 

Nurul Hidayah.

REMINDER

Someday you just have to remind yourself that it'll all be okay. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Saying it enough that one day you'll actually believe it. Remind yourself that things have changed, it changed for a reason, people change for a reason. You just have to let go and move on. It's going to be hard and you're gonna feel lonely but just hold on, cause who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

The End.

A VOICE FROM HEART

Take me to this place for peace, please. 

Is it wrong for me to give up? Is it wrong for me to be happy? Is it even wrong for me to be alone? Is it wrong for me to love someone? Is it wrong for me to be loved by someone? Is it wrong for me to actually do something good for once in my life? Is it wrong for me to feel insecure? Is it wrong for me to get mad? Is it wrong for me to sulk? Is it wrong for me to act a bit childish? Is it wrong for me to get jealous? Is it wrong for me to make someone trust me? Is it wrong for me to trust people? Is it wrong for me to make someone happy? Is it wrong for me to feel stupid? Is it wrong for me to tell people about my feelings? Is it wrong for me to over-thinking? Is it wrong for me to have so many different feelings? Is it wrong for me to actually live my life?

Why is everything gets so hard for me? Why now? Why don't warned me earlier so that I could get prepared for such incidents? Why make the future a secret for me? Why do I have to ask these kind of questions? Why am I feeling miserable? 

Most important question is that why is the world, time and people are being too mean to me? What have I done wrong?

*a voice from the heart* 

"This is the punishment for you to put on too much hopes on something that can't guarantee your happiness. You've done too many wrongs to yourself. Now, face it." 

*cry*

The End.

END OF HOLIDAY.

Things have been packed. 2 luggage sit still besides my bedroom door. I looked still at them with my two arms around my legs. The lanterns at the head of my bed are now shining in my dark room. Here I am, sitting at the edge of my bed, blogging. What else can I do? When else can I find a time to blog after this? December 2012 means I'm back into my hectic life. The life as a student. It's kinda sad cause I'm gonna leave my soft pillow and bed, my cute pink princess room, my cactus, my books, my imagination box, my closet and back to the college with small space of closet, such uncomfortable pillow and mattress, and of course, sharing rooms. Haha I never liked sharing rooms with people even when I'm a kid. I always have my own room. Haha. The truth. *okay, getting back to the mood* This is the sacrifices I have to make for achieving success. And I hope it'll be worth it in the end. Semester break, for this 1 month and 3 weeks break, I really enjoyed my time at home. Everything I want, I got at home. I can live with the imaginations from all of the novels. I can actually open up my closet and start to mix and match clothes. And I can possibly talk to all my cactus without worrying people might say I'm crazy for talking to the plants. Yes, home sweet home. But now, the semester break has comes to its end. I have one more day left to enjoy this moment. Frankly speaking, I don't really get excited in going back to the college even I knew that I can meet Aiman there. But I'm tired. Tired of having all the dramas there. And everything that will just make me feel sick. Fake friends, troublesome guys, rumors, backstabbers. I just hope I could ignore everything and move on with my life. Second semester, which means the last semester, I have to go through this all over again and stay alive in it. I know I can. I believe I can. Well then, until we meet again on May dear holiday. I'm looking forward for it. In shaa Allah we will. 

How the bed looks like on holiday. *Phs by tumblr.

Taking care of cactus.*Phs by tumblr

The best feelings ever when I actually got to talk with them. I'm gonna miss holiday. *Phs by Dy.

Finished 5 books in 1 month and 3 weeks semester break. I just love books. *Phs by Dy.

"Ya Allah, starting from this moment, please ease everything up for me, give me the strength that I need to face all the tests and obstacles that you'll give to me, and Ya Allah, protect me from any bad things. Amin"

Love, 

Nurul Hidayah.

HAVE YOU MET THIS GUY?

p/s : This photo was captured secretly by Iqa. So, sorry for the bad quality of the photo. We weren't ready to pose. Lol~

"One day you'll meet a guy. And ultimately, he's going to find out. How you chew, how you sip, how you dance, how you smell at every point in the day. The fact that most of your friends are shallow. How your face looks underneath all your makeup. How you love chocolate, how you can be hyper at times, how certain games and shows make you really happy. How cranky you can get when you're tired, how you think you look bad in all your Facebook photos. He's going to know everything about you. And you know what? He's still going to love you."

(via tumblr)

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛

FAKE IS NOT ME

P/S: I love books, I may look like nerd but nerd is cool.

I act different around certain people.It’s not because I’m fake. It’s because I have a different comfort zone around certain people. I’ll act loud, stupid, be mean to you, act crazy, and do the most stupidest things with you because I’m comfortable around you. But, I can be quiet and shy if I don’t know you that well or we aren’t very close. Just because I act different around certain people, doesn’t mean I’m fake. I just have a different comfort zone with certain people.

Love, Nurul Hidayah♛