"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Monday, September 22, 2014


Dream. Some people believed in dreams, some people don't. But what do I think? Part of me wanted to believe that dreams will eventually came true, on the other part, I don't want it to be true cause some dreams are just so wrong and became nightmares. I've tried avoiding dream, but it's not mine to control. I've been dreaming a lot lately, and night by night, it's always the same dream. I mean, the same person keep coming into my dream. Was once someone I knew. WAS. Does it mean something? To keep dreaming about the same person with different scene in the dream. But why? It was the last thing I'd ever wanted to do, to dream about 'that person' because it hurts. Yes, it is. At times, I just wanted to stay awake the whole night, cause I don't want to dream. The more I try to avoid it, the more it kept coming into me. I've searched on the internet about what it meant, and most of the blog and psychologist said that:

1. They might be giving us something valuable in future. 

2. Both of you have such a strong bond. (or in other words, both of you are attached )

3. That person is remembering us too. 

But then again, I'm in denial. I decided not to believe and I blame myself for it. Maybe I'm just been thinking about lot of things lately. Handling my husband, my Muhammad, my study and my life. Maybe I'm just too stress that I've started thinking nonsense. There's no need in me to precise whether the person that came in my dream is a he/she because public make speculation and I'm trying to avoid it. Whatever the dream means, I hope that it will be good for me in future or nothing will ever happen. Because we all know some dreams are good, and some are just nightmares and bring dark to us. ( excuse for my Star Wars language ) I hope it won't and I hope this dream will stop. VERY SOON. And if it don't, I'll ask my dream catcher to catch that dream and throw it far far far far far away. 

You Know Who I Am,
That 90s Kid

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Perk of Being a Young Mommy

Assalammualaikum and greetings people!!!!!

Wow, haven't remembered the last time I post on a blog. I can't even remembered when. How life gets so busy these days. (what i mean is months..hihi) I wanted to start blogging again cause I am so over pregnancy. Haha and Alhamdulillah, I've got a son age two months old now and he's so charming that he could be Prince Charming to anonymous girl, lulz. What a mommy. 

The Perks of Being a Young Mommy. Yes, haha well, I dont even know where to start, everything goes so fast and I can't even believe it myself that I'm building a mini family here. I have a husband and a son, two of my heroes in my life, (no worry dad, you'll always be my number 1!) Lot of my friends have been asking me 'How does it feel to be a mom & finally have a baby?" "Are you happy, being married this early?" "Does it hurt? Giving birth?" <<<< This question is the most asked question. Hahaha-- Well, here goes my answer, I'm so proud of myself that i'm willing to take a risk building a family at this very young age cause I don't even want to be hurt and left again by all those guys out there, and InsyaAllah Taufik is 'The One' Allah has descended to me. I'm so over having fun dating. And now that I have a baby, I couldn't be more happier than I am. Muhammad my baby, mommy loves you sayang! Some people may disagree with me being married this early since i'm only 20 now and still a student. How can I balance my study and my family? Well, if mom can, why can't I? Mom raised us five girls so well, and I'm going to do the same, it's just that I don't have five girls, I have only 1 son. Hihi. 

So, the second question, "Are you happy?" Puh-leaseeee, do I look unhappy? Haha I'm more than grateful. I'm marrying my bestfriend that I've known for almost 6 years, why won't I be happy? He knows me well more than other guys did. Because he's my bestfriend. Marrying him is the best thing ever happened. Never thought the guy I've known for the past 6 years in my life could turn out to be my husband and best friend forever!!!!*screaaaaaammmmmmm* Is this for true? Ikr. He may not be the prince charming I've been waiting for, (haha no offense sayang) but he got everything a women need, by meaning, I need. So, I am happy to be married to Muhammad Nur Taufik. 

So, the best part of the question is this, the 'giving birth thingy'. Hahaha what I could say is that, all of the scene about giving birth you saw in the drama and all, IS A LIE. Well, to me it is. It wasn't that hard. First, you gotta feel a little contraction which does hurt a lot but I don't scream at all. Drama lies, exaggerate everything. Lulz! 2 days of contraction and 10 hours of contraction in labour room. (this is the moment where you thought you're going to die and you start to apologizing to everyone, even to the nurses and doctors. haha) After 10 hours contraction hurt, it took only 15 minutes for Muhammad to come out. Right at 10:05pm, I heard him cry and it was the best thing and moment I've ever had. Alhamdulillah Allah has saved the both of us. I won't tell you the part after giving birth, cause I'll let you experience it yourself girls. Hihi so far, everything is turning out to be good for me, thank Allah for making it easy for us. 

And here I am now, back on the track! With a husband and son by my side, I'll start blogging and living my life all over again. This time, I wouldn't have to think about `eye-ing a guy and start dating or you're gonna end up being a spinster'. What a thought! :D

You know who I am. 
That 90s chick. 

Friday, April 25, 2014


Time will keep moving and we will keep living. Time changes everything in our life, as time goes by, lot of events will happened in our life. Some will make us feel happy, some will hurt us, and some event just mean nothing to us. But, thru times I've learned so many things in life just by living. Almost 20 years of living, these are what things that I've really learned;
  • Try as hard as you can not to judge. Each person is the way they are because of some reason. You don't know what happened in their past that made them that way. Will you feel great if people judge you the way you judge them? You will be sad when you're judged cause nobody knows the reason behind what you are now. So, try not to judge even how bad they are.
  • It is good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It's easy to get comfortable with your daily routine, but this is the surest way to kill your spirit. Even if you don't feel like doing something, you never know what could happen if you do. So, stand up and get out of the fence you built around your spirit and just take the challenge to do something you never done before.
  • Be kind. In the end, people will want to be around you if you make them feel good about themselves. Not only that, but it will make you feel good about yourself too. If you be little people, it won't make you feel any good about yourself. It will just ruin your mind and soul because all you do is let the negativity take control of you and pushing the positivity away. 
  • Keep an open mind. You don't know everything and you're not always right. Take everything in. Try to accept what others are trying to say because sometimes their opinion might be great for your life too.
  • Keep a journal. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy, journal is a good thing. It's not a girly thing. In our life, there are still things that we can't talk about with other people even with our own best friend because it's just don't seem right to share it when the only person who understand it is just you. Write it in a journal cause you might feel like reading it again in future and just remembering it.
  • The past and future aren't real. There is only NOW.
  • Learn to be happy even if you are on your own. Lonely doesn't always have to mean sadness or grief. Be happy.
  • Spend time outside every day. Go on walks or lay in the grass. It's easy to forget how important nature is, but I think it has a lot to do with happiness. Stop living in the technology for awhile and just go out, breathe the air.
  • Take a good care of yourself because you only have one body. Don't torture your body. Don't do dieting just to look skinny and pretty because your body need energy too. Be satisfied with your body.
  • Books are not boring. Reading good books will just make me feel happier and smarter.
  • Just love. Don't be afraid to fall in love. It might hurt you several times, but love is just another 'try and error' process. I've fallen in love for so many times before and hurt at the same time. And now, I'm married to a man that never failed to make me fall in love again and again every day.
  • Be curious and cautious at the same time. Everything is fascinating when you take a look at it close enough.
and the most important thing is...
  • You are perfect. The only thing left to work on is realizing it.
Never forget to live,