"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Saturday, March 29, 2014


Let it go-
Let it go-
Can't hold it back anymore.
Let it go-
Let it go-
That perfect girl is gone.

Yes, I am not kindly attached to this song. "Let It Go" in Frozen movie. The words are somehow kinda connected to me.
Let just be honest, somehow in one time, each of us need to be someone else. Do you get me? It's like there are times and places where you can't just be yourself, and you need to put a mask on and act with the flow in that environment. Like when you're trying to make new friends, when you're meeting your boyfriend's family, when you're in a new places. It would be a lie if you say you didn't do that. Cause most of us did it. And it is kinda hard when you have to be somebody else when all you wanted to be is just yourself aite? No matter how hard you try, not everyone can accept you the way you are. There are always people who will judge you, shot a word bullet at you but all you have to do is just, "IGNORE". Don't take it personally. Think of them like some kind of motivation for you to fix yourself to be a better you or maybe they're just jealous because you are way better than them.
I, myself have a time where I have to put a mask on and start being an actress in my own life. Even by acting, I can't please everyone's heart. Nobody could. But I always keep this in my mind. "Its ok Nurul. Your patience now, will be paid off soon. Calm your heart." But still, not everyone can agree with my kind of motivation. You can always create something to make you feel better if you just have to act in any situation. Even though I am just 20, I've been through a lot in this 20 years of my life and I've learned. And now, I'm married and taking one step further ahead in a teenager's life and somehow it became more challenging than before. Not to mention, you have to deal with yourself, your family, your husband, your in laws. I'm not trying to say that I regret for getting married at this age, I am not. In fact, I am glad. Cause I got to learn to deal with life at a very young age so that happiness can be mine soon. At the very least, by the time I've become old, I am prepared to face anything in life. InsyaAllah.
Just keep your heart and strength together and pray that someday Allah will make everything better and I am 5000% sure that Allah will.