"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Thursday, November 29, 2012


Did you ever have this moment when you try to sleep at night but you just can’t get away from being over-thinking? And you started to cry and hoping that someone will be there, hugging you and say “Everything is going to be alright”. My night is always the same. When I try to get a sleep, I’ll start staring at the ceiling and started thinking. You won’t like it if I start to think. I hate it when I start to think. But my mind will always keep moving until I really fall asleep or fainted maybe.  And tonight, I can’t sleep again and I started to think and wall-dreaming for awhile. So, I decided to blog. It’s raining heavily here at my place tonight. So does my eyes. I’ve wet my little purple and Wanda. I’ve always hated and scared of late night heavy rain, with all the thunder and lightning. And tonight just make my night became worse. Yeah, worse.  I do hope for someone to actually lie next to me and hug me. “Go to sleep, everything will get better when you open your eyes the next morning. Don’t be afraid to close your eyes. I’ll give you the sweetest dream and delete the nightmare”. These simple words from that someone can just make me feel better. Tonight is the worse cause I blog. If it isn’t hurting me, I won’t blog at 2:32 a.m. in the morning, I never did.  I’m torturing myself every night thinking about someone that doesn’t even bother to think about me. It hurts. I’ve made through last night without crying and I'm gonna make through tonight either. But tears just won’t stop. Hear my thoughts through my tears and you’ll know how much it hurts. 

The  End.