"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Monday, July 22, 2013


Once upon a time, (you'll be expecting happy ending now aite?)

There was a girl. An ordinary girl who lives her life with just by herself and friends. She always laugh so hard that can make anyone laugh along. He smile always shine that could irritate all her haters. And she always have this kind of attitude that make people would stand by her all the time. But then, came 2 men in her life. And everything is changing. She doesn't laugh like she used to before. Well, she did, with only one of the guy. Her smile, is fading away. But it always shine to that one guy. She still has the attitude that could make people got attached to her. That is why, she was in miserable now. She's in dilemma. She has to choose. 

Before, she doesn't has to choose anyone to stand by her side. Love came into her life. And she knows she can't have both of the guy with her. But, the stubborn side of her, keep telling her : "Keep both of them. Don't hurt people." And it keeps coming into her mind every night before she could go to sleep. She over-think everything. So, she decided to use her smartness and starts scribbling the pros and cons between the two guy. And it came out so wrong because she founds out that both of them love her, but still they weren't being honest to her. She cried in her sleep, and it gave her nightmares. Hoping that when she woke up, everything will just go away and she'll be starting her life again like normal. 

But it didn't happened. As time goes by, she became that one girl who always disappear when it comes to socializing. That one girl who always keep quiet when something bad happen to her. That one girl who always shuts down everyone who tries to help her. That one girl who always laugh for her friends, but crying in her heart. It hurts her so bad that she could not stand it anymore. Every night is the same night for her. She hates thinking. But that is what he does every time now. And it kills her slowly everyday. "Why must I choose? Why must they come into my life?" She kept on asking herself. Until now, she became emotion-less. And she gave up. This is not what she wanted in her life. 

She realized that she's hurting herself. "Men are just men," she thought. They'll find a prettier girl, and they'll start chasing that girl and leaves her alone. This is just the routine in love. They come and go. So, she stopped thinking and start living. Cause she knows, "if the guy loves her, no matter what, he'll stay and be happy for what makes her happy."

And she doesn't live happily ever after. Because there's no prince charming and stuff. But she is really sure that on one fine day, she'll find the happy ending.

The End.

The girl.