"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Saturday, February 2, 2013


Writing while imagining I'm sitting at the edge of it.

What should I right now? I got thousands of words to be written and I don;t even know how to express it. It's so hard since everything you post or say now will be judge. Yes it will, no matter from whom. Even if this is like an online diary for me,it's hard to spill everything out. People will be nonstop judging and I will be over-thinking about that. Abut what the horrible thing people will say. Life matter really does get harder when we gets older. As for now, I've lived in this world for almost 19 years and I've faced through a lot of things. Love is just one of the thing I faced. And now, I have to worry about lots of thing. Contrast to my childhood, the only thing I have to worry about is what will I have to say to mom if I dirt my clothes. As easy as that. Growing older is really not a simple thing, it's challenging. Sure it does. Amsyar once said to me, it's about love "You know what babe, at the age of people like us, 18/19, love really doesn't matter. You don't have to break your heart every time you fell in love. It doesn't even a thing that you should think and keep inside your head. When the time comes, true love will find you, itself. You just have to live your life. You're a woman, a cheerful lady as I know you before. Be that girl again, cut out all of the crying and remember to smile and laugh. It will make you feel better. Sure it will. Don't over-think as it will only make you miserable" Mom once said "Life will not be easy to you. But it doesn't mean that life is going to be hard. You'll be okay if you know how to live your life perfectly as you wanted to because when life gets harder, remember, it just want to teach you how to be stronger."And I think back, he actually got the point there. Why should I cry every night over the same thing and all the matter that bother me and the haters when I can easily smile and laugh with my life and be happy. I shouldn't have thought too much about it. As now, I just have to live my life and be happy. Sayang, if one day you'll be reading this post. I really hope you won't misunderstood. I do love you, always. It's not that I hate you or something. I'm just trying to cheer myself up. This girl is on fire now, let her live. Be stronger.

The End.