"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Friday, June 15, 2012


Dear Readers, 

It has been a week since I've started my classes here in UiTM Shah Alam as an Asasi TESL's student. Before we ( the Asasi TESL's student ) were determined to be on what group, Dr. Jamiah has organised one test called 'Placement Test' to see how much do we know about English and how much do we understand English before you group us into different classes. And for me, the test was quite okay. Not too hard and not too easy. It was just okay. But suprisingly, after knowing the result from the test, I was so shock that I was placed into the last group which is Group E. We only have 5 groups for the Asasi TESL's student. Group A until Group E. And I was so disappointed with myself as to be honest, I've never been in the last place before. I am not trying to show off or being arrogant, but in school, I have always been the best English student for my teacher and now I know where do I really belong to. I was never that 'clever' in English. I still have a lot of things to be learn. And I was so down, majorly break down when I know I was in a Group E. Nobody wants to be in the last place aite? But here, in UiTM, I was in the last place and I feel so so so stupid. Each of us, who belongs in Group E, are really disappointed with ourselves. Some of us, just hate themselves. Seriously, its the fact. Whenever we bumped into Group A or Group B, and here them talking to each other, they sound so sophisticated and elegant and so matured. So, we just feel like we dont even belong here, to be an Asasi TESL's student. So, I called my mom. And told her about everything that happened. About me, being in a Group E and blah blah blah. When my mom starts to speak, using her wise words as she usually does whenever I seek for an advice at her, tears falls down from my eyes. Mom is so supportive. When I told her that I was placed in the last class, she never said that she feels 'disappointed'. Not a single words that have the same meanings with the word 'disappointed' came out from her mouth. All she said is just supportive words to build me up again after I've 'broke down'. All she told me is just to be strong for this one year and struggle. Show 'em all that being in a Group E which is the last group, doesnt mean that Im stupid. It means, I'll just have to take a few more steps to success and much more. All the things that mom said to me really makes me cry. I cry in front of my classmates and never feel ashamed about that. Those tears that fall down from my eyes, is the tears of me, being proud to be born as my mom's daughter. I have a supportive mom. Thank you for that Allah, for giving me the best mom ever. 

Well, I am a little bit stress right now. Because of assignments and so on. But never stresses about being in the Group E. No more. To be honest, Group E is the best Group among all. We live as a family in one classes. We, boys and girls live like we're brothers and sisters. W go lunch together, hang put together and sometimes even cry together whenever we feel so stress. And we're the best. Group E is the best. No words could describe how glad I am to be in this Group. I'll never regret it. 

From the left up, Amir, Nik, Ika, Lyana, Patricia, Syuhada, Ain Syuhada, Shamin, Mira Syuds, Ishaa, Dibah.
On the second row, from the left, Nurrun, Qistina, Mek Wan Syuhada, Me, Ikmal, cant remember the last guy name. Sorry,
Last row, the front row, from the left, Noor, Mimie, Shazlyn, Faiz, Hakeem.

Lunch Time Together~

Love, Nurul Hidayah