"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Thursday, May 24, 2012


السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

In my past life, I’ve done something so wrong, so big and so bad. I’ve hurt someone. And it’s all 100% blame on me. I am the one who’s wrong in this matter. I shouldn’t have hurt that someone. And now I feel so bad. I’ve judge that someone too easily without knowing the truth about it. And now, I’ve break the bond between two person that kind of important in my life actually. I really feel bad about it. Don’t even know how to describe my feelings right now. My heart is in miserable, I always have nightmare every night I sleep, everything I do I just feel not right. And I remembered that I’ve hurt someone and just not I realise about that. So, I took the first step last night. I’ve send a text to that someone. Asking for forgiveness and hopefully that someone will forgive me for what I’ve done to that someone. *won’t tell the name of the ‘someone’, let it be our secrets :)

People nowadays are too stubborn as I’ve done a little bit research among people who’s close to me. They just can’t admit what they have done. They can’t accept others advice. They can’t ask for forgiveness to the person they’ve done wrong too. And I was once among that people before. But now, I’ve realise. To achieve happiness in your life, you’ll have to learn to accept, to forgive, and ask for forgiveness. Then InsyaAllah, happiness will come to you. Trust me. After I ask for forgiveness to that someone, I feel better. Even that someone didn’t reply my text yet, but I’ve done my part. That is asking for forgiveness for what I’ve done wrong. And now, it is that someone turned whether to forgive or not. Even if that someone won’t forgive me, I’ll accept it with all my heart. I’ll understand if that someone made such a decision for not forgiving me. What I’ve done is so wrong and if the same thing happened to me, I will do the same. Well, in most of the movie or drama that I’ve watched, I always notice this quote about forgiveness “People who forgive do have a big heart, but the biggest heart belongs to someone who’s brave enough to ask forgiveness for what they’ve done wrong”. This quote really inspires me. Maybe you’ll feel ‘little’ cause admitting you wrong are not easy to do. Especially to the people who really am stubborn like me. But that was before.

The moral of this true story about me is, you HAVE, MUST, and NEED to learn how to accept others advice, learn to forgive and dare yourself to start asking for forgiveness. It will make you feel better and happier. Cause if you keep hurting people, all you got is the feeling of satisfy and sin! Remember, we lived to collect ‘good point’ from Allah not to gain more sins. I’ve learned something from my life and I admit it that I’ve done something so wrong before. And now, I won’t make the same mistakes again and hopefully I will achieve my happiness soon and to have a pure heart. I’ll try. I’ll change.

P/S: Everything that I wrote hear is based on the true story. I’ve been in that place before and now, I am just writing it back just to make people understand the important and how powerful is the word ‘FORGIVE’ 

Love, Nurul Hidayah