"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Sunday, February 5, 2012



Read this. 

Him. We randomly start talking one day. You compliment me and tells that Im pretty and cute. You ask me about my past relationships and I ask you about yours. When I tell you I've been hurt multiple times, you tell me that those guys are all jerks and stupids for letting a girl like me go. I then share tell you more stories about my past and you tell me yours. You start flirting with me and I start flirting back. Then you ask for my number and I give it to you right away. The next day, you text me and tells me good morning and tells me to have a good day. Soon talking to you become a part of my daily routine and I wait for you every day to text me. Whenever I receive something from you, I start smiling and my day instantly becomes better. You text me daily asking how my day went. I talk to you all night and you always asks if Im tired and I want to go to bed. The night conversations I have with you are always the best and the deepest. I sleep when you sleep and you sleep when I sleep. Now you want to meet up and hang out with me. When I meet up with you, I feel even more chemistry with you and I feel butterflies in my stomach every time I talk to you. Now I tell my friends about what an amazing guy you are and I am interested in you. Soon you confesses that you are interested in me and I tell him that the feeling is mutual. I go on more dates with you and you start giving me nicknames and calling me baby. I feel like Im the happiest girl alive and the feeling is so strong between us. One day, you suddenly stop texting me first. When we talk now, it's only because I hit you up first. Things changed and I dont understand what unexpectedly happened. You stop putting effort talking to me and doesnt show that you still want to be with me. I become extremely clingy and I dont want another girl in the picture. I cant help wondering what went wrong. I ask you if anything is wrong and you tell me that everything is fine. Then I start thinking you're mad at me for something I did, but you assures me that I need to relax and everything's okay. You tell me that you're just been busy. So I wait for a while and nothing is changing. You're still "busy" all the time and you doesnt even try to talk to me. Now every time I talk to you its become an argument. And I get scared that I am being annoying by hitting you up first, so I stop talking to you. Months pass, and I didnt talk to you at all. I never know what happened from your point side of view. Because of you, every day and night I am hurt and upset. I dont know what went wrong in the relationship between us. My friends tell me to forget you and that you dont deserve someone like me. But I cant seem to listen to them, I am already too attached to you. I miss the old person you used to be and I dont even know what you have changed into. And one day I see that you have a new girl in your life. You're calling her cute names and tell her everything you used to call me. You call her baby and tell her you think she's gorgeous. You tell her everything I've heard before. You seem completely fine without me and now you have someone else to talk and text every day and night. I refuse to believe that you played me, but its true. Im still hurt and you have already moved on. Im still sad and everything I do reminds me of you. I cant stop thinking about you and I cry every night thinking about you. I still secretly hope that one day you will start talking to me again and we will pick up where we last last left off but I also know that it will never happen. I compare every guy I now meet with you. You're already forgotten about me but Im still having a hard time letting go. Sound familiar girls? 

Did you girls realise that you just read your sucks love life.

P/S : This source isnt from my brain.

Love, Nurul Hidayah