"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Sunday, January 1, 2012

PAGE 1 OF 366 DAYS IN 2012.


Today is the first day of 2012. The day I pray that everything will go smoothly even I know that it is not going to. 1st January of 2012 is the day I make a new wish, a new hopes and trying to change into a new attitude. Trying to change to be better. When its 2012, my Twitter timeline is full of hopes and dreams. And its kinda fun to read what they dream of, and what they hopes for 2012. And me, I have my own hopes and dreams. All I ever wanted for 2012 is to be nice. Dont hurt me like 2011 did. Time is going to fast now and I want 2012 to take it slow. I dont even have the chances to do things I want in 2011. And I just have to postpone it and done it on 2012. But its okay, Im still glad, Alhamdulillah, because Allah still gives me the time to breath on a new year. There's a lot of things I wanna do on 2012 in my list of the year. Yahh, haha, I do actually have that list on my wall. Im a girl that like to organise things properly :) There's nothing much I could say about this first page of 366 pages book of life. But I start today with a smile and I know that my 2012 will be fun and I know Im going to have a blast! 

#1 Best friend story :
I went to the hospital earlier. At 5.30PM. When I arrived with my boy, there's like a lot of visitor by Lilo's bed. So, I sat behind those people and looks at her. Even there's a lot of people visiting her, she look just at me. Right in my eyes. And that was the moment I felt something inside my heart. Does she remembers me now? Does she wanna talk to me? When the people were away to their home, Lilo's mother ask me to sit besides Lilo. She asked me to talk to her. When I sat next to Lilo, I talked to her. I talked to her about our plans to go to the sea. Watch sunset by the beach. Shopping till our drop. Having sleepover every weekends. Skyping all night. And choose the hottest guy for 2012. I still remember the plan. But then, she looked right into my eyes. She touches my face. She touched my lips, my nose and even my eyes. I know she's trying to remember. And a minute later, she cries. At first, I was so scared. Was there something I did that made she cried? But then, her mother said to me "She cry because maybe she remembers you. She wanna talked to you, but she just can" Maybe her mom is right. Maybe she remembers me, she looked like she wanna talk to me but she just cant. She wanna get up, but still, she's still weak. She cant. Her head wasnt in a good condition. She still need to lie down on the bed. I do felt like crying when I saw her cry. But I kept it in my eyes. I didnt want Lilo to see me cry. I wanted her to be strong. And I know she will. Before I went back home, I whispered to her ears, "I love you Achik, be strong." And she holds my hand tightly like she didnt wants to let go. I kissed her forehead and I waved to her. She looks like she wanna cry. But I just couldnt bear it longer. So, I walked away from there. It's good to see her improvement. She actually do have feelings now. She can remembers me and that is what important the most. I am glad to see her getting better day by day. Thanks Allah for making my prayers came alive. 

-A Writer To Be-