"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Tuesday, January 3, 2012



Dear readers, today was so not a day for me actually. I am to exhausted. I lost a lot of energy. Im being sleepy all the time and the worst is, I am not being me at all. I feel like I was faking myself. Being someone Im not. And there's no reason for that. As usual, I spend almost a day tweeting about my feelings. My emotionally break down feelings. There's something I felt deep inside my heart and its killing me and my life. I feel bad for myself. I am supposed to be happy with my life. Im 18 now, and I had the chance to decide what should I do for myself. Making my own decision. But there is just something that I dont even know, trying to against me. Like Im sort of negative energy in myself. Nahh, I am not. I am trying to build my self confidence in this time. I am trying to change myself to be better to people around me. I have to stop thinking about what people around me thinks about me. Let people say, Im being me. That is all. Tomorrow is a new day. I knew it already. Im going to wake up with a smile on my face, take my responsibility as the eldest daughter in the family by preparing my little sisters to school. And be happy all day long. I know I can do it. yess, I can. From now on, I need to do everything on my own. I cant keep depends on someone, even if that someone is my boyfriend. I need to start learning how to be alone. How to manage everything with just me in it and no other people. I know I can do it cause I am one strong lady now. And in a short time, I'll become a woman. Yes, I believe in myself. I have faith on myself. Let haters hate, cause all they know is the feeling of hatred in them. Being jealous of everyone. Cant let others step ahead from them. That is what haters do, and I am not going to be a hater to anyone. Start to think about myself. I know who I am and Im going to how the world who I really am. Thanks for those that keep believing in me :')

#3 Best Friend Story :
"Hey there honey, again, you're still crying today huh? Please stop. I know that I cant understand you and I dont even know the reason why you are crying. But all I ever know is, you're improving. And that is a good news to me. Really good. Your mom told me that you can go home in a short time. Even you're not fully recovered, but at least you can go home and live in your own home. But the worst part is, I heard that it takes almost 6 month till your head is fully recovered. But its okay honey, Im still with you, no matter what. I'll wait until you are fully recovered and at last, you'll talk to me, laugh with me. I'll wait for that moment. And honey, please be strong for that 6 month okay? Dont give up. Never say you cant cause YOU CAN. I love you sissy!"

- A Writer To Be-