"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Friday, December 23, 2011


Dear Readers

Its been the 9th day since my best friend is in the hospital because of the accident. And still, she doesnt wake up. All I ever hope is for her to wake up and call my name. I really miss her laugh, her annoying attitude, her sarcasm and the most important is her nag about how its awful to be her. Haha. Yeah, she's annoying. But thats the reason why I love her soo much. I never regret to call her my best friend. Cause she's the best I ever had other than Syasya. Lilo is like the Ipoh version of Syasya for me and she's meaningful to me. When the first day I got the news about her involved in the accident. I thought it is just a small incident. I never thought that it could be this terrible. Cause I am used to get in an accident with her. It always be just a small accident. But I never thought she could be like she is now. Be on the hospital bed with eyes wide open but she couldnt even know who came to visit her. Her brain still did not function like it was. All she could do is just opened her eyes, moves her left hand and leg. And let the tears falls from her eyes. I couldnt feel how it hurts inside. Even she cant talk, or tell me how much it hurts her but I knew just by looking at her eyes. She's like my twin. And I can feel by my heart what is she trying to say. All I can do is just, calm her down. So she could feel a little much better. I always whispered to her ears to always remember Allah cause this is His test for her. For her to be stronger. Cause every little pain that she felt will swish away her sins. Sometimes, I do feel like crying to see her in that condition. Cause she used to be the craziest person in my life everyday. Telling me jokes that doesnt really a jokes, hug me when I cry and she used to be my strenght when I was weak. But now, Im the one who have to be her strenght to wake her up. But I know Lilo is one strong girl and she can fights everything. And I know that she will wake up 100% in just a few days. I'll wait no matter how long it will takes. Everyday I came to hospital to take care of her, I'll take her hands and gave her something that she can feel. Such as the bracelet she gave me, the teddy bear she gave me and everything that she gave me. Cause I know once she touches it, she can feel it and start to think. And I know she'll remember. Its not like I put too much hopes on her to wake up, its just that I am willing to do anything just to see her smile again. I dont have the strenght to see her in this condition. I cry every night just because I think about her. But I know, my tears cant bring her back, I need to be strong and always try to bring her back. To make she smile again. But I am really sorry if I cant be with her at the hospital everyday cause I have my life too I have family too. No matter how meaningful she is to me, but family always came first. i'll be with her at least for the weekdays. And weekend will be my time with my family and my boy. But that doesnt mean I dont care about her, its just that, Im a human too. I dont live to spend my life all day at the hospital. I hope that someone will understand me if you see me anywhere but not at the hospital.I always pray for Lilo to wake up soon and I know she will. I'll be counting the days till she's really 100% wakes up. Cause that is what a best friend do to her/his best friend. Sincerely, me who is missing the time with my best friend/twin. Please, get up soon.