"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Saturday, November 5, 2011


Dear Love

I always hope that the love between us last like forever. I never pray or never hope that it will find the end. I was hoping that our story will always continue until one of us was taken away from this world and live with Allah. But I guess, every story will find it ends even Harry Potter does. But I was hoping that our story will last just like the fairytales. With an ending like this "And they lived happily ever after" But still, what people said always became true. Fairytales is fairytales. It will never came true even if we hope or dream about it. Like I said before, I am not Barbie who always have her Prince Charming with her and lived happily ever after in the castle. Im just a normal teenager who's falling in love with an extraordinary man, Iman. I thought, the love between us was so much stronger than I ever had with my ex before. I really thought that he'll never leave me even sometimes I might be annoying. But, all my thoughts never came true. Whatever I wish, will never came true. Esp, when it comes to love. Once, I found a man who really falls for me and thought of marrying me when we grow up. And the next day, he dumped me cause he's getting bored of me and never give me the feeling to be loved again. But then, I'll found another man who was really into me. But after a few days, im being left alone again. I kept living in this kind of love story. Never found the true love. I guess, this is not the right time for me to think about it. Love was never being kind to me. It hurts me and my heart the most. I hope I wont feel love anymore but then, I think about it again. If I dont wanna feel love, how am I suppose to have Alyssa and Adam in this world. Im dying to have them in this world. I want them to see and feel what world is. Feel the hurt I feel, Laugh out loud like I did, crying all night cause of love, studying damn hard for exams and chilling out with friends. Love is necessary to people but never let it be the priority. Love can sometimes makes me feel like Im the luckiest girl in the world. But sometimes, I felt hurt because of it. And to Iman, he dumped me cause he doesnt feel the love between us anymore. He doesnt love me like he did before. I am right about he's changing into a new version of him. Maybe Allah will find me a guy who really deserves me the most but that guy wont be Iman. And I  was thankful for him to hurt me because if he hadnt, I wont appreciate life more and I will not learn about what Love really is. And I know someday, someone will thanked him for leaving me. But, it would be a lie if I said I hate Iman. Cause Im not, the love for him, will always there, stayed in my heart cause I've glue it in there. Maybe I will took a long time to forget him just like I did to Oreo before. But its okay, to remember someone is okay to teach us not to repeat the same mistakes again. And now, me and Iman just a friend. But, he will always be my 'Pencuri Kentang' and I will bear it in my mind cause that is the sweetest memories about us. 

The first picture of us :')

Dear Iman, please take a good care of yourself cause I wont be able to reminds you to perform your solat everyday anymore and to remind you to always take your meals on time. And even reminds you to study for your future. Also to keep saying that appreciate what you have on your life cause you wont be able to have them/it again in your life once its gone. And if one day you'll found the girl you dreamed of, please appreciate her and never hurt her like I feel. Love her with all your heart like you do when the first time you falls for me. And always remember that I will always sing "Someone Like You" cause what I hope the most is the best for you :) Love you with all my heart.