"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Dear Readers

Fyi, Im still trying to get trough this hard days I felt now. I just being dumped by someone I love the most. Its really hard to forget the day. 4th of November will always be the day I hate the most. The day he left me with broken heart. Never thought it could happen. Cause now, Im emotionally weak. Im not that strong as you guys see I am. Sometimes, some night, I feel like killing myself. But I wont do that for a guy who never appreciate what I do. When I wake up in the morning, I realise. I have a life to get trough with. The life which waiting for me to paint it with colorful colors. I need to move on and I will do that. But to move on, needs time. Thanks for all the supports I receive from everyone who knows me. I really appreciate that. They never leave me alone no matter what. And they are one of the reason why Im still alive now. Even, Danny O'Donoughe teach me how to move on and live my life trough his lyrics with his band, 'The Script'. I know, there's so much people who loves me will always surrounds me when Im in need of them. Yeah, it does felt hurt because the man I love the most doesnt have any love for me now. But I will try to grow stronger each day and kept my words for that. About next week, I'll be facing SPM. Its about determining the future of me and I do hope I can do it well even if I have to get trough all of these things just right before SPM starts. Cause I wanna make my parents be proud of me. I wanna be a girl who he will felt regret because he dumped me. I do sound ambitious but that's who I am. I cant wait for SPM to be over cause I need a vacation to help me to get trough all of these things. I need to plan a Getaway after SPM cause I wanna erase all the memories I had with him. I cant hate him cause  he's the love of my life but still, I can try to forget him and realise he's not kine anymore. All I ever wanted to do now is keep focusing on my SPM cause thats what is important the most in my life now. If I failed in SPM, my life would be miserable. I need to get flying colors result for it. And I kindly hope you guys will pray for me. And my moto for now is, "I will never failed to grew stronger and always put a smile in my face for the one I loved"