"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Friday, September 30, 2011


P/S : I wrote this earlier cause i know that i wont be able to use my laptop tomorrow. And i hope, you''ll understand that. So, i wrote this a day earlier from our ann. Okay, since our 6th month ann is tomorrow, i wanna tell you this :')

Dear Abdul Muhammad Iman bin Abdul Malik♥

Ever after I've decided to give you a place in my life, I've sacrificed so much. I've broke my own promise to myself, since I don't want to give any heart-commitments to anyone, and I had enough with disappointments. My heart was breaking inside before I met you, I used to be dumped by a guy, not a man as whom you are now. At night before I finally let you to be in my life, I've cried to myself, I told myself that I want you to stay with me, but I am afraid of losing you. I am not as strong as people always thought. I can't handle my own heartache. But then, my heart start to speaks, it told me that I've to put my past behind, and it believed that you're the one whom can guide me towards my future, and just my past can make me stronger whenever I am with you. At first I don't want to know anything about your past, just because I want to forget mine, and that's why I never told you anything relating to my past love story. And since you told me that our past love story was such our failure when we were kids. so I smiled. You've reassured me that now you're on your way to build up your new and strong and forever relationship, with me. I am very glad whenever you promise to me that you wanna marry me, and let me be your fulltime queen. thank you :) and after spending some precious time with you, I'd like to confess to you :

number 1 : I hate everyone named ZAHYRA except my bestfriend, Lilo, *no offense please, because that name belonging to one whom you once love. even until now I still remember the first met between me and her and how we fought just because you talk about her. I don't know why I used to take it seriously, maybe because I am afraid of losing you. but now, ever since I know that I've already got you whole heart, I've been less paranoid towards any girl that you ever loved esp ZAHYRA. I've you completely, nothing to be worry about, right?

number 2 : I don't listen to any songs that you used to learn when you're with another girl before me.especially  by mymp, because that song once symbolizing you with someone else. I don't want to listen because I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to know about you and your old happiness. I've try so much, so avoid them. So, I gave you ton of good songs, so that you will forget that one. And as time pass by, I know that I've already in your life, completely fix in you. And for everytime I listen to songs that you listen back then, I will smile and be grateful because I've finally fully recover from a broken heart. And I've found you in every pieces of me. You're in everywhere inside me.

number 3 : I would do everything and give you anything, to make you laugh, to see you smile, to know that you are happy with me. For everytime, I've looked like I am giving up on you, actually I don't. I just afraid, afraid for if you stop from staying with me. For everytime we fought, I've cried to you, not because I am weak, but I am actually lending you some of my pain, I want you to know that you're hurting me, so that you won't do it again. For everytime we laughed, I kept those moments nicely, inside me, for our both good and bad times :) I saw many bad things happened around me lately. I saw people cheating, betraying and disappointing on each other, and how they don't be sincere with the one they once promise to be together, forever. But I don't want those things happen to us. I give you my trust, and I know you're always keep it nice, with you. As I am always believe in you.

And I hope, one day, as what we're always imagining, we're laying together on our bed with our Alyssa and Adam, telling them about our own love story. to let them know how cool we are actually. right, syg?

something for my future soulmates:

my dear Adam, you should learn how to love a girl from your papa. he's the best :) and for my little Alyssa, you must find a man like your papa before you finally decide to be loved :)