"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Friday, August 3, 2012


The doll from He's Beautiful :)

I decided...
I decided to be quiet today.
I decided to stay quiet.
I decided to keep everything in my heart, starting from today.
The fact is, even if I speak it out loud, nobody will ever listens, nobody's going to pay attention, nobody's going to remember that moment. So, I decided to keep it quiet, all by myself. I don't even know why. But sometimes, letting out everything that you feel in your heart doesn't really good. Saying this from my own experience. When someone doesn't knows you better, and start judging you and you feel intimidate by it, you'll became frustrated and start think negatively about yourself. Well, it happens to me. Before and even now. I've always feel a little bit insecure with myself. Err, not that 'little bit'. Its actually 'A LOT'. I am so insecure with myself. I've always think that what if when I've found a guy, and he doesn't loves me the way I am. I am insecure that he might find somebody else when he got bored with me. I am insecure with everything that I have in my life. "Insecure" another words that really synonyms with the girls. Well, most of the girls I know are insecure with themselves. Urgh, I don't even know how to express it. So, I decided to be quiet. Maybe it's best to just keep it with me and my heart. Hoping that everything will passed by with times. I decided....I decided to keep it.

Love, Nurul Hidayah