"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Saturday, January 28, 2012



Some people just cant understand what I've been through now. How do I feel, how do people treat me, how I fake my smile, how I treat someone, how I try to have a conversation w someone, how do I live my life. Nobody actually knows. It is easy to say "Be Strong" but its hard to face the truth that we are not that strong when we're broken into small pieces. And we just cant get it back together. Cause sometimes we lost some of the small pieces when we try so hard to join it back. I just cant get away from knowing that I've wasted my life and my time for something that will never going to happen. I can keep on faking a smile and act like I was the happiest girl in the world, but eyes cant never lie. If only I am blind, so I dont have to even look at your eyes and falls for you. If only I am deaf, so I dont have to hear those sweetness words from your mouth. If only I cant talk, so I dont have to tell you how much I love you. Relationship is just something that hard to take care. That is the mission every girls and boys are fighting for through their teenagers time. We try so hard to be in a relationship with someone we though was the right one/chosen one for us. But he/she is not.  I've been in a place where i falls for someone who i actually think loves me with all of his heart but he was just replacing me with her ex girlfriend. But I've love him with all my heart hoping that he is the one who's going to be my man forever. Yes, forever is a very long long time, but nothing is impossible. It hurts me alot when I know the truth about it. But someone has told me before "Allah is still writing. Pray that He'll write that guy's name in your book of life" And I keep praying all night. And now, I've wasted all my life waiting for someone that doesnt even notice me. But now, Im trying to live my life. Happily. Alone. Without no one by my side. Its okay. I'll survive. I'll always survive. Heart injury.

P/S : I may look desperate in this post. But this is my life.

Love, Nurul Hidayah