"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

ITS JUST ANOTHER SAD NIGHT :/

Dear Bloggy 


Entah kenapa, tadi, dido bukak fb Iman. And i read all of his IM. And ada satu IM neh with his friend, makes me think that "Is he ever think about someone else when we're together." Sampai mcm tuh sekali timbul perasaan dlm diri dido. I love him. Yess, dido mmg syg sgtsgt dkt Iman. Its just that, kdg2 byk benda yg dia buat, akan membuatkan dido fikir, "we're not going to last like forever" But dido cuba tolak perasaan tuh jaoh jaoh cause i dont wanna be hurt anymore. But when terbaca Im tuh rasa mcm *damn, knp dia buat mcm neh?* and i was like *aww man, im going to cry now* but tak juga. Cause i still manage to hold on my tears sbb benda tuh kecik jeh. And if he really cheats on me, i'll know it. I just hoping that he'll stay true to me. Thats all. 


And, utk mengelakkan rasa paranoid dido yg suka fikir negatif neh, i'd signed out his facebook account and mula baca blog org. And rasa mcm dah lama sgt since last time dido stalk blog org. Well, im a blog stalker act :') Hehe, dido rasa tergerak hati nak bukak blog Luqman and baca blog dia. Cause dido dah jrg sgtsgt nampak dia dkt sch since dia kena jaga Ummi dia kan? I know its the hard time for him. Once dido start baca post dia yg bertajuk "http://master-lock94.blogspot.com/2011/09/kalau-larat-baca-lah-dapat-ilmu.html" mula2 tuh mmg rasa agak bosan sikit lahh. Yela, Luqman kan jiwang, sometimes dia suka ckp pasal benda jiwang sgtsgt haa. But then, after a few line i read, hati dido rasa sebak. Rasa mcm "Ya Allah, aku sepatutnye bersyukur sbb masih mempunyai seorg ibu yg sihat dan kuat utk menyara aku dan adik2" Unlike him, Luqman dah lalui saat saat yg sgt sukar buat dia. Dia kena bahagikan masa dia utk SPM, utk Ummi dia, utk his beloved one. Rasa mcm kesian sgt. Bila dido baca nasihat2 yg ayah long dia ckp kt dia, start dr situ, pipi dido mula basah sbb air mata yg mengalir. All out of sudden, air mata tuh automatik keluar sendiri. Nak describe kn betapa sedihnye dido kalau dido berada di tempat Luqman skrg.


Ye, dido tahu, mmg dido tak dpt rasa kesusahan yg Luqman rasa buat masa neh, apa yg dido mampu buat adalah cuma utk doakan dia, doakan family dia. Thats what a friend should do right? Hm, tapi serious, lepas baca entry tuh, dido menangis sampai teresak esak sbb sebak sgt. Bukan nak kata yg dido neh hipokrit or what, its just that dido bygkn kalau dido jadi dia skrg. Dido tak mungkin dpt lalui semua tuh dgn tabah mcm Luqman. He's strong, like really really strong. Tapi sekuat kuat mana pun org tuh, dlm hati dia, kita tk tahu kan how much he suffers in it. And Luqman, if you're reading this, please make sure you'll stay strong cause your Ummi will be proud of you cause of that. Jasa seorg anak yg menjaga ibunya sgt besar dan pahalanye, Allah jeh yg tahu betapa byknye. You're one strong man. Tabahkn hati okay? Aku dekat sini, ada utk support kau even apa jadi sekalipun. Remembers, kawan kawan kau tetap ada dgn kau :')

Gambar kami when we're 15. This is Luqman :)