"I typed my life because I don't want to forget each moment. I'm Nurul Hidayah, 20. Muslimah. Malaysian
They don't even know that somehow words can be more hurt than bullets."

Monday, August 1, 2011

Its already the 4th month :')

Dear Bloggy

Today was the 4th month for me and Iman being together :') Funny isnt it? I felt like its a long time for us to reach until this time. A lot of things happen. Seriously, aku mmg tk larat. Tk larat sgtsgt. Dido dah serik dgn semua neh. Dido dah tk larat nk sakit hati, nk sedih, nk menangis sbb dia lg dah. Dido tk tahu apa salahnye dido dkt dia. Yes,, mmg dido panas baran, tp nk buat mcm mne. Mama juga ckp, kalau lelaki tuh syg dkt kita, dia akan terima kita mcm mne kita. Dia takan merungut, takan marah, takan kecewa or wtv lahh. Hurm, dido pun tk tahu ah nk ckp mcm mne, Its already the 4th month and we're getting worse. Seriously, worse than ever ! I hate him. I hate him for what he'd done to me all this time. I really hate him for that. Sometimes i wish i was never born with heart so it wont felt this hurt too much. I love you. I love you Iman. But i just cant keep letting you hurt me. Im a girl. A sensitive girl. And im the one that you wanna spent your life with. but you never prove it. You always say that you love me more, but you never show it to me before. All you know is kept promising when we fought but you never kept it. You keep breaking it. Maybe for you, promise are made to be broken. But not for me. I hate people who broke their promises. Esp, when you made your promises towards me. It hurts me you know. Nothing can fix our relationship until you changed. Its hard for me to let you go, but if i have to. I'll do it. Cause no one wants to live for being hurt. Neither do i. You never cares about me. Even if im sick you never text me and at leat ask me "Are you okay?" No, you didnt do that. I dont ate because of you, I dont take any shower because i keep crying about you in my room and i dont talk to people until i get to talk to you.  You never know how i felt abput you cause you always see me wrongly. Never see me on the right side. Everythings i do for you, is a mistake in your eyes. You never understands me. You never knew what i want. I keep telling you the same thing, i keep scolding you for the same reasons and we keep argue about the same issue. Dont you realize it? Ohh, yaaa. I forgot. You never cares about our relationship. Iman, you can do whatever you want with your ex. But not with me. Im not that kinda girl . Kindly asking you to changed and prove to me that you're the one for me. Im tired of crying about you.